Archive for the 'zombies' Category

It seems pretty clear that “zombie” is poised to unseat “sexy” as the Halloween costume descriptor for 2009. Ten years ago we were all dressing as the sexy version of something for Halloween, like a sexy kitten, sexy vampire, or a sexy Boris Yeltsin (don’t tell me I was the only one). My prediction for this year is that we’ll see Zombie Lindsay Lohan (not really a stretch), Zombie Kate Gosselin, and Zombie Balloon Boy (don’t steal that one—it’s mine).

If this were about sexy tattoos, then perhaps deciding who to Shoot, Screw, or Marry would be easy (or perhaps not). But it’s about the walking dead. So choose carefully, because if horror films are any indication, zombies are pretty hard to get rid of. Especially when they’re tattooed into your skin.

Anyway, BRAAAAIIINNNSS (that’s zombie-language for “Here are today’s contenders”):

Ink Spotter: Karl

First we have Zombie Rambo. At least I think this is a zombie. Maybe that’s just what Stallone looked like in the last film?

Ink Spotter: Matthew

Zombie Michael Jackson. With wooden shoes. And a giant bulge in his pants.

Ink Spotter: Steven M

…and Abraham Lincoln: sixteenth President of the United States, the Great Emancipator, Zombie. Looks like the Gettysburg Address is going to need some revisions:

We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live.

What, no Zombie Keyboard Cat? You people have no respect.

I’m going to have to shoot Rambo, because he’s giving me post-traumatic stress disorder. I’ll definitely screw Lincoln, because I’m not going to pass up an opportunity to brag to my friends that I banged the Zombie Father of Our Country. Or wait, was he Old Rough and Zombie? Tippecazombie? Whatever. Anyway, I guess that leaves marrying The Zombie of Pop. Does that mean I’m the heir to Zombie Neverland Ranch?

Leave us your picks in the comments, and while you’re there, tell us what kind of zombie you’re dressing up as tomorrow!

Unicorns: they’re just like us! 

Ink Spotter: Jessica

They fart rainbows!

Source: Holy Taco

They bleed rainbows!

 Ink Spotter: Fun-Zor

They have disinterested sex and smoke cigarettes on rainbows!

Ink Spotter: Ellie

So you got your internal reproductive organs reproduced on the outside of your skin. Big effin deal. Call me when you man up (heh) and get a serious internal organ tattooed externally. Like your skull:

Source: Tattoo Design Group

Makes that uterus look like child’s play, doesn’t it? HA HA, get it? “Child’s play”? I slay me.

UPDATE:
Thanks to those commenters who have pointed us to more info on Zombie Boy. We found this interview particularly enlightening. Zombie Boy is predictably insane and also unintentionally hilarious. For example, this is his explanation of why he does what he does:

“I thought long and hard about what I really wanted, what my passion was. And I decided I wanted to be a fucking zombie.”

Kind of hard to argue with that, I guess. Here’s a more recent picture of him:

Source: Bizarre Magazine

Zombie Boy also says that he’s a “much happier person” since getting his tattoos and no longer wants “to fucking kill everybody.” So what do you think, ladies? Would you kick him out of bed for eating brains?

Ink Spotter: Anon

In the complex world of tattoo symbolism, the koi can mean a variety of things. One thing it may represent is overcoming adversity. A Jesus tattoo, of course, suggests a deep, abiding faith. Zombies seem to mean “I think zombies are effing cool, dude. They’re hardcore! They eat brains! Dude!”

So it takes only a little work to get to the bottom of this tattoo’s meaning. It means “I have had to overcome many obstacles in life, and have been able to do so only with the assistance of the ultimate badass, Jesus. All praise the J-man: he’s not just cool, he’s zombie-cool.”

Of course, it could also mean . . .