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Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
This may seem silly now, but when they cast one of the Jonas Brothers as the slobbering dildocorn character in the next Twilight movie, it’s all you’re going to hear anyone talk about. Team Slobbering Dildocorn!
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
I don’t know what we’re supposed to take away here. Daddy’s girl is a gold-digging unicorn?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Oops, you spelled “Electra Complex” wrong!
Normally I’d say we turn this into a round of Shoot, Screw, or Marry, but that just seems wrong, doesn’t it? Anyway, these girls are interested in only one guy, and trust me, it isn’t you.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Real men love unicorns. Whereas real unicorns that look like men love themselves if you know what I’m saying. And what do you get when you put together unicorns with men who really love themselves?
Ink Spotter: Anonymous
That’s right. UniKanye! “YO DRAGON, I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU—IMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT NARWHAL HAD ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME.”
Yes, I know that narwhals aren’t mythical creatures, but UniKanye doesn’t.
Unicorns: they’re just like us!
Ink Spotter: Jessica
They fart rainbows!
Source: Holy Taco
They bleed rainbows!
Ink Spotter: Fun-Zor
They have disinterested sex and smoke cigarettes on rainbows!
Ink Spotter: Nieve K
Under normal circumstances, one can usually draw infallible conclusions about a woman with a Looney Tunes character tattooed on her boob. And those conclusions are that she lives in a trailer park. Mathematically speaking:
Looney Tunes tattoo = trashy
Boob tattoo = trashy
Looney Tunes tattoo x Boob tattoo = 2(trashy) = Double-wide trashy
Q.E.D.
But this Looney Tunes boob tat is different. This is the Tasmanian Devil, riding a unicorn. You won’t find this woman waiting in line for deep-fried Twinkies at the county fair with her four children and mulleted boyfriend in tow. No, sir. She’s busy with her entrepreneurial endeavors (backyard pit bull breeding operation) and charitable activites (court-ordered community service). I’ll bet those gold hooves and horn match her glamour-length Lee Press-On Nails.
Alright everyone. It’s Friday, and it’s time for one of my favorite games, Shoot, Screw, or Marry. For those who have never played, you get three options (usually people, but in this case insane tattoos) and have to decide, well, who you’d shoot, who you’d screw, and who you’d marry. No substitutions. Void where prohibited.
Today’ contenders:
Source: Fukung
A unicorn pimp. Um… yeeeah.
Ink Spotter: Linda T
A open-minded unicorn. Don’t be fooled. That is not the Heimlich maneuver.
Source: Fun-Zor
And finally, what has to be one of the most insane things of all time, a Patrick Swayze centaur. With Swayze dressed as the character from the SNL Chippendales sketch with Chris Farley. Oh, and a double-helix rainbow in the back, just so you don’t have to scratch your head and wonder, “Hmmm, is this tattoo gay?” The only thing that could make this better is a Chris Farley centaur tattooed on the other arm.
Anyway, my picks: Shoot the pimp (reminds me of someone I’d rather not think of), screw the dolphin-fucker (he seems adventurous), and marry Patrick Swayze Centaur. I mean, it’s Patrick Effing Swayze. CENTAUR.
Your picks in the comments.
And don’t forget to enter our haiku contest before midnight (PDT) tonight! FABULOUS PRIZES.
Source: ImageShack
The shit is really going to hit the fan in the neo-Nazi community when it gets out that there are nude pictures of the Prussian Blue girls floating around.
Seriously though, where exactly does one find a tattoo artist so obviously experienced in melding two such seemingly disparate genres? Is there an underground gay white supremacist group that gets together to talk over cosmos about ending immigration and how the idea of the Holocaust is “so silly!”?
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