Archive for the 'sexy times' Category

Happy Friday everyone. It’s been a long week, so I think it’s time to have some fun with another game of Shoot, Screw, or Marry.

Actually, this round might more appropriately be called Double-Homicide, Ménage à Threesome, or Move to a Utah Commune With, but that doesn’t exactly roll of the tongue.

Anyway, today’s lineup:

Source: Inked By Design

The Pillsbury Doughboy poppin’ his puff pastry into Little Debbie’s Swiss roll. At least, I think that’s Little Debbie. She’s wearing the hat, but wasn’t LD a brunette? Maybe it’s Alice in Wonderland? But that would be CRAZY!

Ink Spotter: Matthew C

A disturbingly graphic rendering of skunk rounding second base and sliding into third. Wait, do skunks have bases?

Ink Spotter: Andy

And…this. I would call it comically poor in execution, except that I’m not laughing.

My picks: Off the stick figures. Though I am curious to know if this guy goes around asking people if they “want to see his stick figure” before pulling down the waistband of his pants.

Get it on with the skunks. Ugh, I can’t believe I just said that. But hey, at least they have creepily humanlike sex organs, right?

Walk down the aisle with the cupcake couple. While I don’t condone such treatment of Little Debbie (homegirl always had my back in college), I can’t really say no to Pillsbury’s prefab cookie dough. Or those fucking cinnamon rolls in a tube. Really, you had me at “Toaster Scrambles^®.”

Damn, this is a tough one! Your picks in the comments. And no, “shoot them all” is not an answer. Do you peek while playing Marco Polo too, cheaterface?

PS: Do you ever have a day when you really hope that your dad isn’t reading your blog? No? Uh, me either.

Ink Spotter: Chad B

I can’t say that I’m 100% against a Gumby tattoo. I loved Gumby as a child, and as an adult, I find the show charmingly weird and a fascinating reminder of what animation was like before today’s digitally rendered cartoons.

But, is Gumby holding… a beer bong? Gumby, who protected us from Moon Boggles and was BFF with adorably racist portrayals of Native Americans? That’s just not right. And really, if I had to guess, I would have said Gumby was more about psychedelics than booze.

Anyway, if that’s not enough nostalgia-rape for one day, this should do it for you:

Ink Spotter: Alfie

Uh, yeah, could someone please hand me my childhood memories? I’m just going to put them out on the sidewalk for big trash day along with a couple dot-matrix printers and the couch that’s been sitting on my porch since I moved in. They’re ruined now anyway.