Ugliest Tattoos: Bad, Awful & Horrible tattoos
 
 
 

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Archive for the 'portraits' Category

Those Kids That Missed The Irony Of Beavis And Butthead? They Grew Up.

Jun. 22, 2009

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Funny-Tattoos-JoeDirt
Source: List Of The Day

I want a tattoo. There’s just something about them. They set people apart. Make them . . . different somehow. But it will be on me forever, so I want it to be something meaningful. This is a commitment. A celebration of something important to me.

Maybe my tattoo should be of President John F. Kennedy. A truly great American. Didn’t blink through the Bay of Pigs. Wrote Profiles in Courage. Inspired a nation.

But that might be a little intense. My body may not be fit enough to honor someone so great. Maybe a portrait of my wife? That one wedding picture she likes. She’s beautiful. She’d be honored. But man, what if the tattoo guy gets it wrong? What if one eye is bigger than the other, or something like that? Ooh, she would be pissed!

Goddamn! I know! Joe effing Dirt!

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I’ll Take "Right There On Your Arm For The Rest Of Your Life, You Idiot" For $200, Alex

Jun. 15, 2009

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UT-CreepyMuch?
Source: Mr. Ripley

There was a time in my life when I thought Space Ghost Coast to Coast was the funniest motherfucking thing on the planet. There was also a time in my life when I probably wouldn’t have been opposed to having the funniest motherfucking thing on the planet tattooed onto my body.

Luckily, that time was called “Being Eleven Years Old,” and state law prohibited me from acting on any such impulses. This person obviously lives in a country where no such laws exist, and where that moronic “Where’s my Chippy” sketch translates into something that’s actually funny.

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And Why The Hell Is Marilyn Manson Trapped In That Bubble?

Jun. 2, 2009

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UGS - There's an Equus tattoo on the other arm
Image Source: Daisy of Love

This whole Harry Potter phenomenon is great, isn’t it? I mean, really great. Encouraging children to read, whisking adults away to a fantastical dream world, etc. You know what else is great? Proust’s A Remembrance of Things Past. And health insurance. And the way that plants convert the carbon dioxide we humans produce back into the oxygen we breathe. All things you should also get tattoos of as well, in my opinion.

PS: Enjoy never getting laid again.

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And To Think I Went With The Ruben Studdard Tattoo

May. 18, 2009

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ut-clayaiken1 Image Credit: C-Cynical

Clay Aiken. Fine. I won’t even bother commenting on how ridiculous it is to get a Clay Aiken tattoo. I know he has legions of fans, and branding any one of them as crazy for getting this tattoo ignores the very important fact that if you’re a fan of Clay Aiken, you were probably crazy to begin with. I’m not even going to dwell on the fact that this picture makes Clay look EVEN MORE RETARDED than he does in the flesh.

What I wanted to know is why his head appears to be rising out of a misshapen black hole. After some Googling, I found this:

...can be determined by how he sits in a chair

So it’s the picture from the cover of his first album. Except without the arms. Just the sleeves. Given the skill of the tattoo artist, I guess the arms were too hard to do. As was forgoing the sleeve and instead attempting to include his chin. It was just too big a risk. You wouldn’t have wanted this tattoo to have turned out ugly, right?

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