In the not-too-distant future, cloning technology is finally perfected… with the minor hiccup of all humans having saran wrap for skin.
Submitted by: Shannon
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Archive for the 'portraits' Category
New Kids on the Back
Apr. 10, 2012
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Jan. 31, 2012
Well kids, it’s time for me to kick off my tennies and put my cardigan back in the closet, because today is your auntie Jessica’s last day at Ugliest Tattoos. It’s been a wonderful few years making fun of the good, the bad, and (mostly) the ugly, but now it’s time for me to go help other girls and boys by showing them pictures of flying penises (that came out wrong). You’ll be in excellent hands with the lovely and talented Nick, who will be taking over from Cheezburger HQ.
If you want to read more of my drunk ranting/offer me lucrative freelance writing opportunities, you can follow me on Twitter. LET’S BE FRIENDS (I’m already drunk).
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Kisses forever (eww, not there. I’m not THAT drunk (yet)),
Jessica
P.S.: Okay, NOW I’m that drunk. Let’s make out.
Via: geyserofawesome.com
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No, No, No
Jan. 29, 2012
Hey, what better way to honor Amy Winehouse’s life than by getting a tattoo of her while you’re fall-down drunk? If she could see this tattoo from heaven, she’d probably throw a pint glass at a fan and then take a nap under a bar stool. (That means “I approve” in Winehousian.)
Submitted by: Unknown
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Yikes
Jan. 25, 2012
Huh. So it turns out that Sloth wasn’t so much to look at even before he was dropped on his head.
Submitted by: Channing1111
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You Spelled “Homely Girl” Wrong
Jan. 22, 2012
This may look a bit sketchy, but remember, it’s en proceso. By the time its done, it’s probably going to look TERRIBLE.
Submitted by: Unknown
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I Fail the Line
Jan. 18, 2012
I hope that gesture was intended for the tattoo artist.
Submitted by: Unknown
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Two Thumbs Up!
Jan. 16, 2012
I mean, you WANTED the Faces of Meth version of this portrait, right? Right?
Submitted by: Tyler
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There’s a Good Gollum joke in There Somewhere . . .
Jan. 15, 2012
. . . but I’m lazy so I’m just going to say “My preeeeeeecious!” Low-hanging fruit, etc.
Submitted by: Sabra
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Chola Marilyn
Jan. 13, 2012
Marilyn may not have been what we would consider well behaved, but I’m certain that she was never into chewing tobacco.
Submitted by: Unknown
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Before and After an Allergic Reaction to a Bee Sting
Jan. 12, 2012
I’m not sure how you mishear “And please add in a sailboat necklace” as “And please add in a sailboad necklace and make her look terrible.” But I guess tattoo parlors can be noisy.
Submitted by: GOD, WHY?!
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If This Tat Could Talk
a free plant for fat… on Do I Have Enough Piercings to … Gonfal on Sexy Body: Ruined ed - never shown pub… on Played in the Key of Razor… ed - never shown pub… on You Only Life Once Jeff the K!iller on Congratulations Joy on Keep it in Your Magazines salem on Warp Rarefaction Julie on Happy Mother’s Day! Anna Rexia on Warp Rarefaction kackyw on Happy Mother’s Day!
