Ugliest Tattoos: Bad, Awful & Horrible tattoos
 
 
 

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Archive for the 'OH HELL NO' Category

Great, Now I’m Going to Have That Song Stuck in My Head for the Rest of the Day

Sep. 29, 2009

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Here at Ugliest Tattoos, we are not opposed to making light of tragedy. We do, however, believe that some tragedies carry a little more weight than others. Billy Mays’ death? Kinda funny. The Holocaust? Maybe give it a few more years. Michael Jackson jokes? Hilarious. AIDS epidemic? Risky.

This?

Funny Tattoos: Forecast indicates you should wear long pants. Forever.
Ink Spotter: Stephanie C

Damn. After having worked on this site for a few months, I thought I’d lost my ability to even recognize poor taste. Then this came along. So. . . thanks?

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Yes, We See You. Meow, Or Whatever.

Sep. 2, 2009

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Funny Tattoos - Ahh!Ink Spotter: Jova

While I hate to feed the underworld’s attention whores, we can hardly have a website about fubar tattoos without mentioning Stalking Cat, now can we? It would be like trying to discuss pre-Socratic philosophy without talking about Democritus. Totally, exactly like that.

Anyhoo, some reluctant Googling taught me that Stalking Cat has a totally bitchin’ website! It features Times New Roman text on a black background and a slideshow that I’m pretty sure was made in a middle school computer lab in 1991. And apparently he’s available for “gigs.” Remind me to bring that up at the next planning committee meeting for the office holiday party.

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Chupacabra Preemie?

Aug. 27, 2009

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Funny Tattoo - AmazingInk Spotter: SallysOrrOw

I’ve reached a point where anytime I look at a tattoo and don’t know what it refers to, I presume it’s an Internet meme I missed. They’re standard issue now. “Chocolate rain” kid? Sure:

Made you turn your head the other wayInk Spotter: Danielle

2 Girls 1 Cup? Yup. I’m confident there are approximately 10,000 Dramatic Gopher* tattoos. And I’m sure there is a small cadre of people having zombie face tattoos applied with the sole intention of looking like the “I like turtles” kid.

So I no longer worry about what I’m looking at when I see an Irish-identified but red-white-and-blue–American infant-dog-angel-cartoon tattoo. I’m sure there’s a youtube video about it out there. With 3 million views.

*No, no link. If you haven’t seen the dramatic gopher, well, let me be the first to welcome you to the Internet.

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Mom Told You To Chew Before You Swallow

Aug. 11, 2009

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Funny Tattoos: What?Ink Spotter: Bracken M

I have just a few questions:

1. Why?
2. What?
3. Did you have to register as a sex offender after you got this tattoo?
4. What?
5. Why?

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Yep, The Hickey Is Tattooed On Too

Aug. 5, 2009

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Funny-Tattoos-EyebrowPencilsAreExpensive
Ink Spotter: Anonymous

If you’re going to do this, why not go with some upside down Nike swooshes and try to get an endorsement contract?

Regardless, tattooed eyebrows are never the answer. If you’re having trouble achieving the chola elegance that you long for, please watch this informative video before making any decisions you might later regret:

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I Guess She Could Get A Job As A RAWRceptionist

Jul. 20, 2009

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Funny-Tattoos-OneStepCloser
Source: IziSmile

This isn’t funny. At all. It’s not a mistake. It’s not a misguided effort. It’s not a brain-damaged “oops!” It’s utterly intentional, utterly sad, and utterly mind-out-of. If the stripes were just on the body, sure, there would comments to make. “Congrats, lady. You’re a tiger! Ha ha.” But once we get to the face, we’re looking at the face of pathology. “Society is dead to me. I have a trust fund, and will never need a job. I say ‘meow,’ unironically. No, wait, I say ‘roawwr!’ Got it? I’m an effing tiger!”

And again, that’s not funny. That’s sad. That’s shut-down-the-website-sad. You know what? Fuck you, tiger. We’re keeping the website.

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Hello Cowgirl in my Skin

Jul. 13, 2009

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classy

Oh, hey, so you got a tattoo of a scantily clad cowgirl with humungous boobs. Congrats. But why are you getting that weird incision alongside?

...and classier!
Source: Storms Whisper (via Dave Schappell)

Ah, OF COURSE. To get fake tits for your tattoo. Ask a stupid question, get a REALLY stupid answer.

Be careful there, buddy. I’ve heard that cosmetic surgery is a slippery slope. Will a miniature breast augmentation be enough? Next you might find yourself getting Botox on the shoulder where you have an aging portrait of your ex-girlfriend. Or hair plugs on that tiger across your upper back. Laser tattoo removal for your tattoos that have made their own poor decisions to get ugly tattoos? Where does it end?

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