Archive for the 'Internet phenomena' Category

Maybe I should save this for Sunday, but you guys know how I like to wrap up the work week with a round of Shoot, Screw, or Marry (and also bottle of Jim Beam, but that is neither here nor there). And if there’s a Hell, then housekeeping is making up a cot in the basement for me as I write this, because today’s edition is all about our homie up in Heaven: Jesus Christ.

Hark! (or some other bible-y word), the contenders:

Source: Fun Blog

LolJesus. Hey, I’m happy to see he’s managed to keep his sense of humor after all that he’s been through.

Ink Spotter: Hanna

Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the Dead Milkmen more than anyone, but I think this image is something better suited to, say, a goofy t-shirt than a goofy torso-length tattoo. Because I’m not a 14-year-old boy. And personally, I’d be having a crisis of faith the moment His pogo stick caused those stretch marks.

Ink Spotter: kittygritty

…and retarded Jesus. Can the short bus pass through the eye of a needle?

Pretty Jesus-y up in here this week, huh? Don’t worry, next week we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled sacrilege. Anyway, my picks: shoot retarded Jesus. I’m sorry if that’s insensitive, but I just don’t think we’d have that much in common. Besides being retarded.

Screw pogo Jesus. What can I say? I’ve had an incredibly immature crush on the Dead Milkmen since forever, and this is the closest I’ll ever get to having awkward teenage sex with them.

Marry LolJesus. There’s something about his body language that tells me he wouldn’t be into me romantically, but I think we could have a good time together. Plus he probably could use a beard—I don’t think his dad would approve of his lifestyle, if you know what I’m saying.

Whew! I don’t know about you, but I feel the power of Christ compelling me! Or is this what it feels like when you’re about to get smote? If you have any faith at all, you’d better get your picks in the comments soon.

Ink Spotter: SallysOrrOw

I’ve reached a point where anytime I look at a tattoo and don’t know what it refers to, I presume it’s an Internet meme I missed. They’re standard issue now. “Chocolate rain” kid? Sure:

Ink Spotter: Danielle

2 Girls 1 Cup? Yup. I’m confident there are approximately 10,000 Dramatic Gopher* tattoos. And I’m sure there is a small cadre of people having zombie face tattoos applied with the sole intention of looking like the “I like turtles” kid.

So I no longer worry about what I’m looking at when I see an Irish-identified but red-white-and-blue–American infant-dog-angel-cartoon tattoo. I’m sure there’s a youtube video about it out there. With 3 million views.

_{*No, no link. If you haven’t seen the dramatic gopher, well, let me be the first to welcome you to the Internet.}

Submitted By: Jessica G

At first glance, I took this to be a tattoo of a sloth. Fine. Weird, but, you know, whatever.

But those eyes looked so familiar to me. I knew I’d seen them somewhere. And I don’t know any sloths.

Then it hit me. It’s not a sloth at all. It’s a poor rendition of Stains the dog!!

Now there’s an Internet-meme tattoo I can get behind. Think she’s got the O RLY? Owl on the other shoulder? God I hope so. That would really put the crazy-eyes quotient over the top.

 
Source: Tattoo Shop Supply

The day I saw that video of the Dramatic Gopher (or whatever it was called), I also saw a t-shirt for sale featuring the likeness of said intense rodent. And I thought Look at these idiots, putting all their eggs in a fad basket that will last five seconds tops. I hope they didn’t print too many of these things, because you can’t bank on every stupid, flash-in-the pan Internet meme that comes along. Some things just don’t last long enough to sustain merchandising.

This person bought that shirt.