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Ink Spotter: Anonymous
I’m beginning to think that people are getting tattoos that defy explanation (and sanity) just to mess with me. I have nothing to say about you, Billy Mays Cupcake. Except that you are an insult to Ed McMahon, whose likeness I have yet to see rendered in permanent ink, with a cupcake or otherwise.
If you think the tattoo itself is crazy, wait till you see just who got it slap-chopped into his skin:
Alright everyone. It’s Friday, and it’s time for one of my favorite games, Shoot, Screw, or Marry. For those who have never played, you get three options (usually people, but in this case insane tattoos) and have to decide, well, who you’d shoot, who you’d screw, and who you’d marry. No substitutions. Void where prohibited.
Today’ contenders:
Source: Fukung
A unicorn pimp. Um… yeeeah.
Ink Spotter: Linda T
A open-minded unicorn. Don’t be fooled. That is not the Heimlich maneuver.
Source: Fun-Zor
And finally, what has to be one of the most insane things of all time, a Patrick Swayze centaur. With Swayze dressed as the character from the SNL Chippendales sketch with Chris Farley. Oh, and a double-helix rainbow in the back, just so you don’t have to scratch your head and wonder, “Hmmm, is this tattoo gay?” The only thing that could make this better is a Chris Farley centaur tattooed on the other arm.
Anyway, my picks: Shoot the pimp (reminds me of someone I’d rather not think of), screw the dolphin-fucker (he seems adventurous), and marry Patrick Swayze Centaur. I mean, it’s Patrick Effing Swayze. CENTAUR.
Your picks in the comments.
And don’t forget to enter our haiku contest before midnight (PDT) tonight! FABULOUS PRIZES.
Source: Tattoo Supply Shop
I assume this side-by-side comparison is “Exhibit A” in the civil suit you’re bringing against your tattoo “artist.” Or do you just carry the photograph around by way of explanation to strangers that no, you were not married to Medusa?
Either way, HOLY CRAP are you lucky she’s dead. Because if she saw that, you’d be in for a serious ass-kicking.
Source: Fuck Yeah Tattoos
As you might have heard, the king is dead.
I’m not going to say I find this tattoo surprising. He was arguably the world’s most famous person, adored by literally millions of fans. I’m sure this isn’t the first Michael Jackson tattoo, and it’s certainly not going to be the last.
Here’s what DOES surprise me. This picture showed up in my inbox at around 8 p.m. last night, presumably after having hit a few other inboxes before mine. Jackson had been pronounced dead at 2:26 p.m., a scant 6 hours earlier. So while the rest of the world ground to a halt and office workers everywhere shirked deadlines in favor of watching Thriller clips on YouTube and hitting “refresh” on TMZ over and over again, this guy was calling around to local tattoo parlors to find someone who could squeeze him in for a same-day. I’m guessing he was in the chair by 4 in order to have had this shit touring the Internet by 7.
Meanwhile, I could barely get it together to call my mom to discuss the sad news. How do people get shit done (and on the Internet) so fast? And why do they always seem to use their powers for evil instead of good? Like getting idiotic tattoos instead of, say, finding a cure for cancer or cleaning my house? Only one of those activities ends in laser surgery, and it’s not cleaning out my fridge. Yet. If you wait any longer, it might be a different story.
Rest in peace, MJ. Thanks for Thriller.
Source: Mixx
This is the tattoo you get when you walk into the parlor and say, “I want a tattoo, but I’m just not sure what to get.” It’s known as the Kitchen Sink. Fan of James Brown? Done. How about Wu-Tang? Bam. Into bats, or flying animals of any kind? You’re covered.
What about Batman, birds, Jambi, aliens, dragons, dreadlocks, Frankenstein, goblins, Native American imagery, dinosaurs, or making your torso look like a face wearing a Crusader’s helmet? I defy you to find something not represented by this tattoo.
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