Submitted by: Bandit
. . .
WHY IS THIS A THING?!
Incorrect source or offensive?
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Archive for the 'genitalia with wings' Category
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s . . . Oh Not Again
Nov. 14, 2010
Submitted by: Unknown
I don’t really have anything to say. I just thought it had been too long since we had one of these around here. I’d hate to get a reputation for running a website without a bunch of flying penises.
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Happy Sunday
Oct. 10, 2010
Submitted by: Jamey
You go ahead and worship your Jesus or your Buddha or your Bono. But ask yourself: Am I really being honest?
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The Guy Who Gives a Flying F**k Is in Luck
Aug. 31, 2010
Submitted by: Unknown
Really, people? Do I REALLY have to add a tag for genitalia with wings? Do you understand the kind of position this puts me in? When I go home and weep quietly into a pillow to happy hour and everyone with a normal job is complaining about the commute and the faulty Xerox machine, I’ll have nothing else to chime in with but “I had to round up a bunch of flying dicks.” It’s a real conversation ender.
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Let Him Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Bone
Aug. 24, 2010
Submitted by: a friend of a friend of a friend
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”*
* Jesus of Nazareth (“The Savior”) assumes no responsibility or liability for injury, damages, loss of property, or death related to what you (“The Seeker”) are given or find. This includes but is not limited to The Seeker receiving a life lesson in the form of a personal tragedy, The Seeker finding out that he or she has herpes simplex virus, The Seeker sustaining personal injury from standing too close to the door when it is opened, and The Seeker finding out that what is behind the door is actually a flying penis.
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Yes, Girls ARE Scary!
Aug. 16, 2010
Submitted by: Unknown
Pop open that bottle of Chateaux Faygeaux that you’ve been saving for a special occasion, because Clown Week is over! And now back to our regularly scheduled disembodied genitalia.
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The Birds and the Bees and, uh, These
Jan. 29, 2010
Submitted by: i know this guy via Submission Page
Hmm. I guess a tattoo of a chrysalis isn’t the worst thing we’ve seen around here. I suppose that hole in the middle is where the butterfly broke out before fluttering away. But it’s kind of weird looking, isn’t it? Must be some strange species of butterfly…
Submitted by: Lifetime Tattoos, Eugene Oregon via Submission Page
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We Can Do It!
Jan. 5, 2010
Submitted by: My friend via Submission Page
We here at Ugliest Tattoos are no strangers to the occasional disembodied dick. While I don’t understand the motivation to get a penis tattoo, I can see how they become an easy stand-in for other things. You don’t need to draw the whole man to represent your sexual obsessions. Also, drawing the whole man is a pain in the ass.
It’s different for the ladies. There’s no agreed upon, ASCII-simple representation of the vagina, and it’s kind of hard to draw one out of context. Did that stop this guy? No. What about this guy?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Nope. And not this guy either:
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Okay, that’s sushi (I think), but you know what I’m getting at. What I want to know is why they all have wings. I’m sure that within five seconds of hitting “Publish” I’ll be informed of some simple explanation, like that vaginas with wings are a running theme on Adult Swim or something (as well a informed that there IS an ASCII representation of the female anatomy, idiot). But for now I’ll just think of it as some airborne sex-part serendipity.
Anyway, there’s only one known remedy for such a swarm, and thank god we have it handy:
Submitted by: BME baby via Submission Page
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What’s the Opposite of Penis Envy? Because That’s What I Have Right Now
Oct. 16, 2009
Well, it’s been a sexually confusing week, hasn’t it? We’ve seen all sorts of things we wish we could unsee. I thought I’d wrap up with something safe and nonsexual to wash the taste out of our mouths, like maybe a kitten wearing a burka. Shockingly, I couldn’t find anything like that, so I guess I’ll finish what I started and make today’s Shoot, Screw, or Marry exactly as rated-R-for-sexual-content as the rest of this week has been.
Keep an eye on your drinks, ladies, because here come some dicks. First up:
Ink Spotter: Anon
A dick in a cake, apparently made by someone named “Mamma Bear.” Hey Mamma Bear, maybe next time try starting with something simple, like chocolate or red velvet, before moving on to complicated dick cakes, because this one sucks.
Ink Spotter: Scott
A dick on a tank. I guess Barry Goldwater had his “AU H2O” license plate, and Dick Armey has, uh…this.
Ink Spotter: Anon
And finally, a sad looking dick in front of a blob of Aquafresh. And if you’re about to say, “That’s not toothpaste, idiot, it’s a pair of wings,” don’t bother. It could be the mustache waxed off the Statue of Liberty herself, and it still wouldn’t make this tattoo okay.
Somewhere out there, a psychotherapist is chewing on his pen and longing for the days of sexual repression.
Anyway, I guess I’ll shoot Panzer dick. He started it, plus I’m not into Blitzkrieg sex. Screw patriotic dick, because I love you, America, and I think it’s time we take our relationship to the next level, if you know what I’m saying. And marry cupcake dick, because you know what? A cupcake is a cupcake. It could have a lit stick of dynamite in it, and I still wouldn’t say no.
Next week I promise at least one fluffy kitten. Unfortunately, it’ll probably have a dick stuck to it somewhere.
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Big Daddy Almost Cut Her Out of the Will for This
Aug. 19, 2009
Ink Spotter: Ignelius
What? You never saw the episode of The Golden Girls where Blanche falls in with a biker crowd? Smitten with the gang’s leather-clad leader, Miami Mike, she takes her attempts to impress him too far at a piercing and tattoo parlor. Sophia cracks wise about how all that penetration probably doesn’t compare to Blanche’s college days and Rose recounts a story about how back in St. Olaf, motorcycle gangs actually rode pigs. But it isn’t until Miami Mike cheats on her with a younger member of the gang (the buxom Pleather Pensacola) that Blanche realizes she’s trying to be something she’s not.
Cheesecake and laser surgery all around (Blanche for tattoo removal, the other gals just to zap some varicose veins). Credits.
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If This Tat Could Talk
a free plant for fat… on Do I Have Enough Piercings to … Gonfal on Sexy Body: Ruined ed - never shown pub… on Played in the Key of Razor… ed - never shown pub… on You Only Life Once Jeff the K!iller on Congratulations Joy on Keep it in Your Magazines salem on Warp Rarefaction Julie on Happy Mother’s Day! Anna Rexia on Warp Rarefaction kackyw on Happy Mother’s Day!
