Here’s a question: Why must you keep dragging Batman into it?
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Archive for the 'football' Category
God Bless Al Davis
Sep. 18, 2011
And since we seem to have somehow gotten onto the topic of football today, here’s a tattoo honoring Raiders overlord Al Davis. Some of you may wonder why someone would want to commemorate such a controversial figure, but come on. Let’s not forget the man’s achievements. Becoming the first zombie sorcerer to own an NFL franchise couldn’t have been easy.
Via: sfist.com
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Sports!
Sep. 18, 2011
While I’m sure that this young lady is coordinated enough to avoid any sort of blood-spurting injury involving those nails or those dermal implants, it might be a good idea for her to keep her Terrible Towel on her person at all times, just in case.
Submitted by: BBC
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Any Given Sunday
Sep. 18, 2011
As IF. I might actually watch football if it were that interesting.
Submitted by: Sarah
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Super Bowl XLV(Which, in My Mind, Stands for “Xtra-Large Valium”)
Feb. 6, 2011
Source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Well? Who’s going to win the Super Bowl? The Packers have Aaron Rodgers, who looks adorable in a mustache, but the Steelers are the oldest franchise in the AFC. And those are literally the only two things I know about football, the latter of which I learned by just now reading the first paragraph of the Steelers’ Wikipedia page (where I also learned that they’re not called the “Stealers” as I had previously thought, a huge blow to my dreams of someday founding an NFL team called the Arsonists).
I’m going to be spending today watching the Puppy Bowl with my dog and eating my weight in guacamole so, SPOILER ALERT: the winner is me. Tell the NFL that I’m a size six and they can just mail the championship ring to my house.
Submitted by: l0l
Via: Facebook Friend
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You Say “Loser;” I Say “Fulfiller”
Jan. 23, 2011
I used to think that the only thing I could ever enjoy about football was the possibility that, during any given Eagles game, Michael Vick might sustain a broken neck and die on the fifty-yard line. Slowly. On national television.
Then I saw this tattoo.
Via: A guy in my hometown posted this
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Tailgate Sideshow
Jan. 24, 2010
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
I understand fanaticism, and fan tattoos. Hell, I have a discreetly placed Charlotte Stone Crabs tattoo myself. But when I see this, I think, “what else were all those dudes doing while they were signing your back?”
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Runnin' the Ball Is Like Makin' Romance
Oct. 25, 2009
Ink Spotter: Whitney
While we’re getting rare glimpses into things, here’s a behind-the-scenes look at how the posts here at Ugliest Tattoos get made:
Me: What’s the football team that has a horseshoe on the helmet?
Stephen: The Colts.
Me: [searching the Colts website] Why the hell isn’t the roster in numerical order? What’s the point of having numbers?
Stephen: [ignoring me]
Me: There’s no number 19 on the Colts. Maybe that number is retired?
Stephen: I don’t know.
Me: Oh wait, I found a “Unitas” jersey on ebay. Was there a player named Unitas?
Stephen: Sure, Johnny Unitas. The greatest Colts quarterback of all time.
Me: Do you know if he was into anal sex?
Stephen: That’s probably why they retired his number.
Kind of like seeing sausage get made, isn’t it? Unfortunately this exchange yielded neither a good joke, nor any insight into whether or not Johnny Unitas was a fan of butt sex. So in lieu of actual good writing, here’s an unrelated video of the Superbowl Shuffle:
You’re welcome.
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That’s Actually Supposed to Be Tom Brady
Jun. 5, 2009
Image Credit: gamelyn
It’s been a rough couple years for the New England Patriots. They blew Super Bowl XLII in the last 35 seconds of the game. Then their star quarterback suffered a season-ending knee injury in the first game of the 2008 season.
The fans deal with the disappointment in various ways. One guy drank and entire case of Narragansett Beer and then ordered his five-year-old son to draw Pat Patriot on daddy’s arm with a safety pin and the ink from his Crayola markers.
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If This Tat Could Talk
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