Well, that may be an ugly tattoo. But that’s no reason to get torn up about it.
*shoots self*
Submitted by: Bill C.
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Lead Singer of the Skeletones
Jul. 21, 2011
Not sure what the problem is here. Amy Winehouse looks better than she has in years.
Submitted by: Joseph
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Fire Thighs? Lit Joints? Burning Muscles?
Jul. 20, 2011
Ha ha, get it? “Candles” plus “knees” equals . . . candle sneeze?
Okay, I have no idea. I suppose this could be the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding when someone goes to the wrong parlor to get her legs waxed, but that seems about as likely as me accidentally going to Pet Smart to buy liquor (i.e. it depends on whether or not I’ve already been drinking and OMG LOOK AT THE HAMSTERS!!!).
Submitted by: Danny Delorean
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How to Scare Away a Millionaire (and Everyone Else)
Jul. 20, 2011
I’m sorry you guys, but I’m out of jokes to make about bad Marilyn Monroe tattoos. Could you do me a favor and come up with another sex icon to mangle? How about a fubar Farrah Fawcett? Or a busted Bo Derek? Think of all the ways you could mess up those cornrows she had in 10. Or how about Tom Jones?! Tom Jones would be the perfect bad sexy tattoo. Just place him somewhere hairy, and when your fur grows back, he will look even more like Tom Jones.
There, I’ve done the heavy lifting for you. Now get going.
Via: www.facebook.com
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Mustang Sally’s Less Popular Older Sister
Jul. 20, 2011
You’d better be careful there, Shotgun Shannon. With a name like that, a frat boy is likely to use the Budweiser bottle opener he keeps on his key ring to stab a hole in your ankle and try to suck the beer out of you in ten seconds or less.
Better wear some sturdy motorcycle boots, just to be safe. Or tape a copy of Remembrance of Things Past to your ankles. Frat boys hate Proust. I think I saw that on Animal Planet.
Submitted by: Unknown
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Cinnamon Toast Cannibalism
Jul. 20, 2011
I haven’t seen a Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercial since the last time I watched Saturday morning cartoons (so, about four days ago), but apparently now they involve anthropomorphized cereal bits performing depraved acts upon each other, animated by whoever did the CG for the Fry’s Electronics commercials back in the nineties.
Is this what it takes to get kids to eat cereal these days? Back in my day, all we needed was the suggestion that it contained chocolate and/or marshmallows and the promise that we would not be required to eat that other “part of a balanced breakfast” (suck it, two eggs, orange juice, and sixteen bran muffins).
Submitted by: kmitch
Via: no
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I Heart House Music
Jul. 19, 2011
Oh my god. WHY would you spend so much brain power coming up with such an elaborate rebus for “I love house music,” and then totally half-ass the execution?
Wait, did I just answer my own question?
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Excuse Me While I Slip Off My Orthopedic Garter Belt
Jul. 19, 2011
Yes, I would like a tattoo of a sexy pinup girl doing a resistance-band workout. No, don’t worry too much about her face, shading, or proportions. What I really want to get across are the benefits of isotonic exercise.
Submitted by: Unknown
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All the Better to Drown Sailors with, My Dear
Jul. 19, 2011
Ariel’s older sister Andrina might not have her sister’s angelic voice, but with those merman hands, she probably has a future in the NBA. Think Ursula would grant her a killer jump shot?
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If This Tat Could Talk
Anna Rexia on Marry Me. Right Now. Invisible_Jester89 on Braaaaaaaaaains Invisible_Jester89 on Kid Looks Happy Now, But Wait … Don'tTatMeBro on Unconvincing Article is U… Thistle Dew on Unconvincing Article is U… Anna Rexia on Marry Me. Right Now. Don'tTatMeBro on Marry Me. Right Now. abadseed on Unconvincing Article is U… Thistle Dew on File Under “Worst Nickna… Anna Rexia on Marry Me. Right Now.
