“Um, I’ll pass.” — Christopher
Via: Facebook.
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Copy & paste this:
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If This Tat Could Talk
mom2mla on Ass: Ruined Jovndøyr on Keep it in Your Magazines Kinseth on Do I Have Enough Piercings to … kindness on Keep it in Your Magazines Ry on Sexy Body: Ruined Jovndøyr on Straight From the Hood Jovndøyr on Glow Worms? Jovndøyr on Sexy Body: Ruined AL on Played in the Key of Razor… AL on Played in the Key of Razor…
jiminy – that must have been hard to tattoo
That would be the gut of a ‘Tara’ble bi*&%h who lives in Everly, IA, has a son named Christopher, pretends she is someone who she is not and she screwed my husband (now my ex). Not bitter, just want others to be warned. Sort of a ‘Trojahn’ warning. Yeah, she is screwing him, too, but he is still married. Worst firefighter, damn twins (boobs) get in the way.
seriously, she got her son’s name THERE? em, gross..
The tattoo itself is reasonably well done. The piece of skin it’s on has seen better days…
Like inking a piece of beef jerky, I’d imagine.
…or some old shoe leather…
or an old whore.
^This!
IS
SPARTA!
I love you guys……
lol
Speaking as a “Christopher” I think i’m going to go vomit out my spleen
Heh.
Man, that’s a LOT of loose skin and stretch marks to tattoo over! I’m sure her skin won’t look as bad after that’s healed, as sensitive skin tends to puff-up when tattooed, making stretch marks all that much more noticeable, but still, that’s a body that screams, “don’t tattoo me here!!!”
You know what my hubby said after I had my first baby?
“You look like a burn victim!”
He’s now my ex-hubby and the reason I’d never even consider a tummy tattoo. ‘Nuff said.
I was thinking that this girl must’ve had a baby. My stomach looked like this after I lost all of my baby weight.
My eyes! The googles do nothing!
*goggles
We need an edit button!
Quickly, search for one!
I -see- what you did thare.
thats what she said
Somewhere there’s a mortified family who just found out about Grandma’s tattoo, an old leftover from her carnie days.
Carnie days? I thought it was for her first love, Mr Columbus.
Good one, Anna! I lol’d.
He may be right, no amount of Googling is gonna remove this image from my brain!
Here: http://www.lemonparty.biz
That should help you to get it out of there:]
Or maybe try GoogleHammer :]
Also, if you have made it this far on the internet and are still clicking on links that say, “lemonparty”, you need to hand in your mouse.
I’ll admit I’ve never heard the term before. You must be the master of the interwebz. In to whom do I turn my mouse?
^winner
That would be me.
As a punishment you shall google and navigate to “two girls and a cup” and watch it to the end three times.
With no mouse!
Well played. But I HAVE heard of that one. I don’t live under a rock!
But do you like kittens?
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Kittens
hahahahaha! You got me!
I’m thinking to myself, “why would anyone add kittens to this conversation? That seems entirely irrelevant and inappropriate. But who doesn’t love an adorable kitten?” Then, BAM!
Yes, well played. Well played indeed.
lol I’m glad there was no need for offended here, that will do nicely
i fell for this.and i almost threw up. CANNOT BE UNSEEN O.o
Apparently my browser isn’t taking me to whatever shocking thing everyone else is seeing…
Not that you’ll ever see this, but Encyclopedia Dramatica is not in the same links anymore. It was hijacked by the creator and turned into some bastardization of Knowyourmeme without the humour. Just the facts. B!tch. Anyways, now you have to google Enclyclopedia Dramatica and then search kittens.
I totally misread this and thought you said “you need A hand in your mouse” and I was thinking….that’s kind of dirty……hahahahahahhahaha
Earlier I was thinking that there was too m any “male” tattoos on here, and that they should get more pictures of some women on here.
I now very much regret that thought.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Humor, Tattoo Cover. Tattoo Cover said: RT @UgliestTattoos No.: “Um, I’ll pass.” — Christopher Submitted by: diablo2010Via: Faceboo… http://bit.ly/hfBiWB #TattooCover [...]
Umm, I’m thinking this tattoo is anything but recent.
well, to be fair, it’s not “ugliestandmostrecenttattoos.com”
Those stretch marks scream post-pregnancy. Like post three pregnancies. I wonder if they were even Christopher’s kids..
I have three kids and I don’t look like that but I would still never show that area to a tattooist!
She looks like a fifty-something smoker, not a mom. Yikes.
Older heavy smoker/sunbather is what I was thinking as well.
Me three.
Does she have “Pooh” over her chocolate starfish?
LOL – love the Christopher Robin reference.
Looks like she’s hoping to give Chris a rash.
Any ideas what that is at the end of the R?
Lipstick.
Maybe Christopher is her dog.
Or maybe Christopher is the name she gave to her fupa
Nice try at looking hip on the internet, but check urbandictionary before you use terms you’re not familiar with next time, mkay?
Seems like a totally appropriate use of FUPA to me.
Also, How does no one else think you’re a total asshat cyber bully? Do you actually just use multiple user names and pretend to be other people defending you?
Cheese and crackers, are you like this in real life? When having conversations with REAL people do you also criticise and pick apart everything anyone says to you with all these fucking semantics.
I believe FUPAs come in all shapes and sizes. Also, I think age plays NO factor in FUPAs. And I’m confused entirely by the “bikini lines” I’m not really sure what that means here…..
ALSO, you essentially just said that ONLY perfect, thin, under-25 bikini lines are fupas. OOPS. Looks like little miss perfect isn’t so perfect.
hmm you say fupa, i say gunt… potato, potato. haha that doesnt work unless you say it huh?
tomato, tomato..
well, i enjoy your wittiness when you’re not being condescending. In this case, however, fupa is entirely appropriate. That’s precisely what this is.
(See above comment)
Anna Rexia fail.
Oh, it’s LIPSTICK? I thought it was a bingo marker. o_O
Red marker pen.
I thought it was a marker pen? Just hideous.
I think it’s lipstick
It is, she probably is a Kat von D fan, Kat has hollywood in the same style done there
looks like a wedding ring, or a wallet.
Call me crazy T, but it looks like a Cleaver….
I thought it was a tube of paint. But lipstick seems a reasonable explanation as well.
i thought it looked like a razor blade, and his name was written in blood.
Looks like a tummy tuck!
Looks like a old growler that tried to run away from the square-dancing stomach.
She looks like a plucked chicken. Yuck. I’m making chicken for dinner, but I think I’ve just lost my appetite.
That is a tube of lipstick on the right. A blood red lipstick tattoo right above your crotch just brings up really gross associations in my head. I suppose we should be grateful that it’s a tube of lipstick and not a bloody tampon.
omg, I thought she looked like last years turkey before I stuck it in the oven.
I am all for the thought that all women are beautiful in their own way (as in don’t judge a girl on her looks), but when you’re flaunting stupid tattoos over plucked chicken skin and your faded lacy drawers, you are asking for it really.
Someone once gave me some very wise advice – “If it ain’t pretty, don’t put it on the front porch.”
OMG The poor tattoo artist is probably BLIND now!
This woman is so old she’s probably senile, & has NO no recollection of getting a tattoo, let alone whoever Christopher is! Thanks Ugliest Tattoos, you never cease to amaze & entertain me with your talent for discovering & posting horrible tatts!
That isn’t baggy, wrinkled skin. Its deflated, cottage-cheese, stretch-marked skin. I doubt she’s really all that old.
I agree with Sharlee. How old are you? I’m guessing under 23 and have never been to a gym locker room and seen women over 35 who have had multiple children and/or lost a lot of weight. I wouldn’t get a tattoo there, and even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t with stretch marks like that. One of my tattoos has a part that went over a scar and it hurt like a mofo, so I can’t even imagine what this woman went through getting this tattoo.
Keep all that in mind when you get your first stretch mark if you haven’t already. You may have one or two and just haven’t noticed. Rapid changes in weight can do it. When you do, make note of what your age is at that time and think back to what you wrote here. Time isn’t on your side, sweetheart.
Totally agree, Anna. I actually think the lighting of this pic makes the stretch marks look particularly vivid.
Just so all you kids know, the majority of women get stretch marks during pregnancy, paticularly these days now that so many women are overweight or have extra belly fat. Though it has some to do with weight, hormonal changes are also a cause. They also occur during puberty and often in transexuals with hormone supplements.
Not commenting on the tattoo.
Yeah, stretch marks and saggy skin are definitely the worst part of the miracle of life.
Anna Rexia, you are my new pet peeve. You have literally just contradicted yourself.
See also:
Anna Rexia says:
February 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Carnie days? I thought it was for her first love, Mr Columbus.
You really probably should find other ways to build up your self esteem.
In what way did I contradict myself? It’s called being facetious. Your misuse of the word “literally” makes me wonder if you understand the word “facetious.”
It looks like I struck a personal nerve with you. My self esteem is fine. I’ve seen “Ladyrocker” make similar remarks before, as if anyone over 30 is old and decrepit. It’s ignorance. Young children will make the same remarks about people over 20. It also is ignorance, but they have an excuse. As you get older, it becomes less excusable.
I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You make that choice. I speak my mind. If I don’t like something someone says, I say so. If you don’t like it, tough shit. If you have a personal problem with me, that’s your issue.
You contradicted yourself by implying the person is old enough to have known Christopher Columbus, and then turning right back around and saying in a different post that this person probably isn’t very old at all.
I believe the word you were looking for is fickle. You were being fickle.
I am actually very familiar with the word facetious. My mother uses it ALL the time. However, us young ingnorant children tend to prefer terms like “sarcastic” or “smartass”.
In what way did I misuse the word “literally”. I’m starting to think you might not have a very firm grasp on the meaning of words and how some words can be used in a plethora of different ways.
Finally…. to be clear… it’s permissable for you to speak your mind when you disagree with some one, but if some one disagrees with you, they’re just shit out of luck? That, my dear, sounds a bit like some ignorant narcissistic logic.
What part of facetious did you miss? Here ya go, clueless:
fa·ce·tious /fəˈsiʃəs/ [fuh-see-shuhs] –adjective
1. not meant to be taken seriously or literally: a facetious remark.
2. amusing; humorous.
3. lacking serious intent; concerned with something nonessential, amusing, or frivolous: a facetious person.
Got it this time?
You misused the word “literally” in saying I literally contradicted myself. Is there a way to figuratively contradict one’s self?
Finally, my being sure of myself doesn’t equate to being narcissistic. What you said, my dear, demonstrates a feeble attempt to be condescending, like your mommy is toward you “ALL the time.” Don’t try to project your issues on me. Discuss them with your therapist.
Your being pretention, condescending, and a “know it all” make you narcissistic.
I have a wonderful relationship with my mother, and I have no idea how any of this relates back to her…. and I’m equally unsure why “ALL the time” is in quotes…. are you using some one else’s words?
oh wait… I can copy and paste too…. Hazaa!
nar·cis·sism [nahr-suh-siz-em]
–noun
1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis . erotic gratification derived from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.
ps – I’m through with this. If you have a personal issue with me, take if up with me off this site. I’m easy to find. So is a good therapist.
I can assure you, there would never be a need for me to contact you outside of this site.
Are you really that hard up for friends?
Take up arms! It’s a FLAME WAR!!! *epic battle music*
Jesus, can’t we all just get along? It isn’t like she threatened to rape your puppy.
This was the best spent ten minutes of my lunch hour. Hilarious. Thanks both.
Well said, Anna!!
hahaha XD I’m going to show this to my bf his name is christopher
poor guy. i hope he recovers from the shock
hope you like gay guys, cause after seeing that…..
lol i wish i could see his face Kiwi, im wrackin my brain for a friend with the same name lol good luck
Would.
Looks like some one tried to tattoo “Christopher” on a baggie of cottage cheese.
This disturbs me for many reasons. I shall name a few. That she thought it was a good idea in the first place. That my own husbands name is Christopher. That she thought it would look good after having kids. I could go on, but the worst is that my husbands name is the same. It creeps me out.
Is you husband a white man? All white males are named Christopher. All of them.
Thats somewhat racist. I have living proof you are wrong. And I’m not talking about myself.
It was a joke other Christopher. Don’t be so quick to pull out the racist card.
I’m white, I would jump in with an anti-racist comment…but my brother is called Christopher :]
(He is NOT that Christopher. My brother is 10.)
Its funny ’cause it’s racist.
okay seriously….this is UT not laugh at the unfortunate fat/ugly person.
You’re right, and that is one seriously ugly and tacky tattoo.
Don’t get me wrong name tattoos are stupid, the lipstick is stupid, but i kind of like the font its easily readable(is that even a word?) and the red looks even. AND it’s in a spot most people don’t see(probably).
“Legible” is the preferred word in this instance. As in able to be read.
“Readable” is more slang and is usually referred to when talking about a fun or easy to read book, as in “a very readable book.”
Bless her heart.
Those look like post-pregnancy stretch marks. Maybe she got the tattoo to cover the stretch marks? It looks like it hurts.
Thanks for that failblog -_-
Normally there’s a big argument whether the tattoo owner truly deserves body/skin criticism but I’m glad to see Jessica has found an example damaged enough for us all to gleefully jump together on the critical bandwagon.
But I have three questions, why put the tattoo on such a damaged and likely sensitive area? Why get your first tattoo there at age 63? and why, for the love of God, would you take a picture of it??
OK, OK, I have one more question – how many children do you have to have (or maybe multiples) to create that many stretch marks?
I don’t think she’s old and I’m thinking the stretch marks are after losing a lot of weight. She also has some stretch marks on her upper thighs. She could have softened her skin some by applying a good quality lotion first, but I’m sure her primary aim was to show the tattoo. I was about to say “Still, people, think ahead,” but I don’t think she’s the type who thinks ahead; after all, she had another person’s name permanently inked on her body. Total violation of rule #1, yet people do it every day. Yeeshies.
Yes. The person on the photo has very clearly lost a significant amount of weight–I would guess well over 100 pounds. It’s the classic look of gastric bypass patients.
*in the photo
My kingdom for an edit button!
I think many of us would sacrifice a goat to the gods for an edit button.
I had stretchmarks like that after my first kid, getting stretchmarks is genetic. Also, he was a big kid! Also also, I don’t think of myself as damaged.
Really, guys? So she’s got a few stretch marks. They’re not that bad, believe me. And it’s not your body to judge. Maybe she got the tat to make herself feel better about a part of her body that isn’t ideal. Whatever the reason, it’s a well done piece and it’s spelled right. I agree about not digging name tattoos though- I’ve seen too many people get a person’s name tattooed on themselves, only to break up shortly thereafter.
That’s not a few stretch marks. That’s a lot of very large stretch marks. My sister has had three kids (2 of ‘em twins), and her stomach looks nothing like that.
Every person’s body is different. *My* sister has 2 kids and she’s got a sh*t-ton more stretch marks than that. Hell, I’ve got more stretch marks than that, and I don’t have any children. You missed my point.
I think derpty derp may be correct, that appears to be someone who has gained & lost 100 or more pounds relatively quickly (such as someone who has had some form of weight loss surgery), rather than just pregnancy stretch marks.
It should have put LOTS of lotion on it’s skin.
Now it gets the hose again.
+1
*choke*
ROFL
Pahahahaha!!
Imagine trying to keep all that skin taunt to tattoo It… Do you think the artist resorted to duct tape?
if i were christopher, i’d be honored that she put my name on her body. the key word is “her”. i don’t particularly like it but obviously the lady has no qualms about herself. good for her!
Stretch marks! Oh the horror! Because we all know she chose that stomach for herself. *eye roll*…
You’d be surprised what just one pregnancy can do to the flattest and “prettiest” of stomachs, no matter how much you exercise/eat healthy/slather yourself in pricey lotion.
Yeah mine looked worse after one nine pound baby. 14 years later, it looks a lot better but it will never look good. That’s life. Should have known I’d stretch mark bad, my hips looked like I’d been mauled by a tiger when I was a teenager and I was anorexic. My skin just doesn’t stretch well. If scarred skin held ink well, I’d definitely cover the lot with tattoos, but the reality is it’d have to be touched up every few years for the rest of my life or it’d look worse.
Kid was worth it.
For those of you that think it looks painful… the skin is really thin on stretch marks but there are no pain nerves, probably hurt less than tattooing over a younger woman’s stomach. At least this one isn’t going to stretch all funny. Other than the fact that I hate name tattoos, I think this looks pretty sharp.
Or she could have given birth to a very large baby. That is about what my stomach looked at after giving birth to an 11 pound baby. Not pretty, and I certainly wouldn’t chose to get a tattoo there, but I wouldn’t put anyone’s name on my body either.
A friend of mine just gave birth a little while ago to a 14 lbs baby. 14 pounds!!!!! Can you imagine! I would hate to be her during labor
but she now has a beautiful baby girl.
O.o um…..lets not.
You find your mum hot?
i have seen many a disturbing picture and i can deal with naked old people (to some extent)…but this just makes me want to puke. i think it’s mainly the combination of skin + those panties.
I can’t tell you how many mornings I’ve woken up and thought “You know what I need today? Some dude’s name over my coochie in the form of a bastardized New York Dolls logo done in the Coca-Cola font” It’s nice to see that I’m not alone.
New York Dolls logo….nailed it. Well done.
It looks a little bit like there is some kind of scarring going on under that tattoo, not just stretchmarks. Maybe she had another tattoo removed from there, then put this on top?
Ummmmmmmm…….. was she trying to copy Kat Von D?????
Okay,
people it’s post pregnancy,
and she has a c-section scar.
Guess what? Some females bodies go through hell after having a baby and some bounce back, there’s no reason to go on about her body because she’s showing something she cares deeply for, and FYI It isn’t lipstick it’s a marker.
marker over c-s with child’s name.
^^^ and it’s only a short time post-baby her body muscles haven’t retracted yet, actually she looks a lot better than a lot of mothers I’ve seen pp.
Uhm. Also. Take a look at what you called a “marker”. If that was intended to be a marker… but looks identical to a tube of lipstick.. then it is an Ugly Tattoo.
Hold on a sec. I gather you know her by what you’re saying and I want to be 100% sure I read something correctly. Christopher is her child’s name? If so, that opens up a big ol’ can of creepiness. Having your kid’s name put over your heart, on your arm, shoulder – the usual places – no problem, but just above your cooter? Oh HELL no! Can you imagine what other kids would do to your kid if they ever found out? You may as well start planning for a memorial tattoo now.
Oh hell no. I refuse to believe that is her childs name. Above her hoohaw? Are you kidding me? I’m with Anna! I hope Christopher’s friends never ever find out because he will never hear the end of it. Plus she is taking a picture of her childs name in her lace panties?!?!?! No…no… no… refuse to believe!!!!
Or it could be that she put it over her c-section scar, as a reminder of her child. Just throwing that out there.
FFS People! How closed minded can you get!! Why people just ASSUME this woman is old because of her skin is beyond me! Shes quite obviously a woman whos carried a child, and guess what guys, thats what happens!!
On another note i think the tattoo is awful and tacky.
I concur. I think there is not a single indicator of this persons age in the picture (except of course the person being old enough to get tattooed).
I think the issue isnt the age, or even the tragic things that childbearing (or extreme weight gain/loss) does to the body, it’s just the POOR decision making to get something that DRAWS ATTENTION to ones flaws.
Not to mean skin condition aside I think FUPA or even TUPA (that T standing for thin instead of fat) tattoos are just plain trashy.
think that this is over a c-section and she wanted to both commemorate the pain of the c-section and to dedicate something to her child
holy hell, i cant believe it took all these posts for someone to figure that out…
*blinks* More than one person believes that is her kids name. I just… I don’t… GAAAAAH! *Head explodes*
We’re going to need some duck tape for your head. I think I have another roll left.
I never thought I’d see an argument in favor of obesity.
I heard that.
i wonder what christopher thought when he saw this…
Y’know what though.. At her obvious age, she doesn’t give a flying fuck what people think of her tattoos.. Poor old Chris is the OONNNNLLLYYY one that’ll be seeing that one…
Or maybe lucky Chris.. Who knows, she may be able to remove her teeth.
But it’s going to look like hell when she gets old and wrinkly…
Bwa hahaha!
Err…. “Captain Snugglepants”? Are you, like, ten?
Its going to suck for her if that Christopher leaves her.
My name is Christopher. I will have nightmares tonight.
Is this the owner of the blue waffle?
Is now selling magic eye bleach at 25p per shot.
The Damage on the skin is because that is a c-section scar. Since the baby has already scared her for life, why not have his signature across it. I’ve had 3 cesareans and no matter how skinny you were before surgery, things will look bad in that spot after.
I think it was a troll. Pretty sure it was a troll. It smelled very bad, like a troll.
I feel kinda bad for the lady. I have recently gained another cup size too fast and now they have stretch marks.
I do question the name of it, though.
Thi sshould say “catastrophe” Instead of Christopher. Just sayn..
I saw this photo several days ago and thought the initiial “LOL-TITLE”
harsh, but it’s nothing in comparison to the comments posted.
You are all so perfect… really…??
This woman has stretch marks.
She chose to tattoo.
Who POSTED the photo?
I have a belly like this lady (thanks to 2 x 10.5lb babies) and if I wish to get a tattoo, so I will! I may take a photo. But I am SURE AS HELL not posting it on the Net!
I say live your life, get tatts and piercings if you wish, adopt a ferret, go to college and tap a keg. Just keep it PRIVATE. DO NOT upload photos of yourself on the internet that you may wish your grandma to see – coz she will!
Ok Shell, where the photo of your cooter to PROVE this isn’t you?
Ugh, listening to how my body will inevitably look like hell has cemented my no-kids status. Thanks all.
Okay… this tat was either done on an 85-year-old woman (judging my the skin) or on a person that’s just lost about 250 lbs.
Either way… ICK!
Ugh, having had 3 kids and a gross belly like that, I sure as hell would never get that tattoo – And my husband’s name is Christopher too!
sure sure, this is you isn’t it…go on… you can admit it….
no one here is judgemental at all
this makes me wanna puke
I think she got the tattoo first, then had the baby. Babies will do that to you. One reason a woman should NEVER get a tattoo on her abdomen.
If you’re gonna label yr cooter, couldn’t you think of a better name than Christopher?
Hahahaha nice c section belly ya big ol mcfatty
like
SHE’S ALL YOURS, CHRIS!
at least this one has clean panties *shudder*
Thanks to DjDodo for posting that link early on… scared the living shit out of me! Had my volume up full too so my neighbours are probably wondering wtf is going on.
OMG this made me laguh for like ten minutes. Not so much the tattoo but the comment under it “Um, I’ll pass” -Christopher. tears rolling down my face literally.
And i’d definitely say she was trying to cover the stretchmarks- probably christophers fault.
I feel sorry for this Christopher..
Haha my ex is named Christopher. Poor poor Christopher…i wonder if this was pre or post baby(ies)
how does NOBODY notice the bottle next to the name? Its her kid’s name she got tattooed there…not some guys…
That’s not a bottle, it’s a Sharpie marker….
OMFG!!! AHHHHH my eyes!! I need some bleach for them STAT!!!! I can’t un-see this…..I’m pretty sure I’m scarred for life now. There should be some kind of warning on this site so when you’re scrolling you have a heads up if something is coming that will make you vomit up your dinner!!
[...] Didn’t we learn our lesson about getting lipstick tattoos? [...]
No.. No. I …own a par of undies just like those. I must burn them. I must……. I’m going to throw up…
what a bunch of pussies. stretch marks make you vomit? and you women that are talking smack….i hope you get your share. if you have a baby, you probably will.
even body builders get stretch marks. y’all act like you’ve never seen them in real life and i’d be willing to bet you either have them or have seen them. shame on you. you are seriously even worse than the idiots that post on perezhilton.com
As a chick who has minor (non-pregnancy-related) stretch marks, seriously, the lighting in this photo does make the stretch marks look terrible. Calm yo ragequit, girl.
Had no stretch marks, had such smooth perfect skin… until my giant almost 10lb son decided to stretch my belly out
Ended up being a c-section also.. Wasn’t over weight and no matter how much lotion I tried my skin just didn’t want to cooperate. Looks relatively like this now, makes me sad really but I look at my son and think it’s well worth it.
[...] If we’ve learned anything about lipstick tattoos around here, it’s that they’re always classy. Submitted by: Chloroform GirlVia: m.facebook.comIncorrect source or [...]