I just saw a roach in my house for the first time last week, and now everything I see is a roach. I freak out when I see a penny on the floor, an onion skin on the counter, the UPS guy at the door. All roaches.
All I’m saying is that if I spray you with RAID the next time I see you, don’t take it personally.
Submitted by: Unknown
They say that lightning never strikes twice, but I’m pretty sure that more than a few drunken evenings have ended with a shower of hot pepper flakes and this particular bolt hitting me at least five or six times.
One time I got up to eight. The wreckage and destruction the following day were of state-of-Emergen-C proportions.
Submitted by: Unknown
I Googled this phrase to see if it had some meaning besides the obvious that I might be unaware of. It doesn’t. So now I’ve lodged those words in my browser history for nothing. Which is actually what makes me angriest about this whole thing.
I know, I know, I’m basically a hero of feminism at this point. “Your outright misogyny may or may not get me in trouble with my overzealous HR department!” Suck it, Gloria Steinem.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Ha ha, this girl is wicked corny. Get it? Corn-knee?
She’s also carrotny. Or something. Leave me alone.
Submitted by: Bika via Submission Page
I like how there’s a number seven down there among the discarded letters. The guesser had obviously been duped before by the other player coming up with nonsensical answers like “PEN 15 Club” and the symbol for the artist formerly known as Prince.
Not that I would know anything about that. Hieroglyphics are a legitimate form of written language and my little brother knows it, no matter what he tells you.
Submitted by: Unknown via Submission Page
What would Phil Anselmo do? I don’t know. Probably smoke a Cuban cigar while soaking in a solid gold bathtub full of Dom Perignon and strippers. I fail to see how this is helpful.
Submitted by: Unknown
Oh, wow. I’m so flattered! I never thought someone would get a tattoo of me! Where did you get my picture though? I thought I had my Facebook profile set to private.
Submitted by: Max
I don’t see what the big deal is here. So the mudflap girl has let herself go a little. So what? Who among us hasn’t put on a few pounds since the 70s? At least she’s still finding work. That’s a lot more than can be said for my pet rock.
Submitted by: Unknown
Hmm, I don’t know about this one. I can’t decide if the implication of hunting small children for sport is awesome or SUPER awesome.
Submitted by: Unknown
Is there any better form of revenge than getting a really ugly tattoo of someone’s name?
I mean, besides EVERY OTHER form of revenge?
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