Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
I kind of disregarded this mug when it first came across my virtual desk a few months back, assuming these fake-looking face tattoos to be, well, fake.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
But when it came up again, I thought I’d better look into it, and it turns out that this guy is for real, and by “for real,” I mean “crazy.” Billy the Human Billboard is an amateur boxer from Alaska who sells his skin to online companies (including the charmingly titled SheMaleYum.com) for—I shit you not—charity. This guy has turned his face into what my last laptop looked like right before dying of a spyware infection because HE CARES ABOUT ORGAN DONATION.
Did you get that? That part where we went from a CrackWhoreConfessions.com face tattoo to giving away kidneys? Billy also apparently uses the word “fortnight” unironically. I’ve never been so sexually confused in my life.
But I’m still not sure if I like Billy more than Zombie Boy. What do you guys think? Would you kick Zombie Boy out of bed for eating brains so Billy could hop in and donate his organ to you? (Just pretend that made sense.)
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Copy & paste this:
There’s a fine line between getting a logo tattoo of something cool and looking like a corporate whore, and this guy crossed that line ahead of anyone else.
totally. Also, why not at least have some kind of explanatory piece tattooed so that nobody thinks you’ve got amnesia and now think you’re a nascar…
maybe save the forehead for something classy and explanatory like:
“The following corporations endorse organ donation by permanently eliminating any chance I had at getting a real job”
think you’re a nascar – brilliant!
Really. That’s a keeper for sure!
You are exactly right. He definitely needs “UgliestTattoos.com” across his forehead.
Maybe “UgliestTattoos.com” across his forehead and arrows pointing down? =D
woah!! no zombie bedding for me!! what is up with that?? are those companies even real????
Why would ‘fortnight’ be ironic?
That was my thought too. I say “fortnight” all the time as it is a lot less embarrassing – and scary – than referring to a two-week period.
do americans say fortnight? im english, and when i went to america, immigration didn’t know what a fortnight was… ?
I’m English, and I say fortnight. Perhaps Americans don’t use it? But I don’t get how one could use it in an ironic way.
wikipedia claims that Americans dont use it, aparantly “biweekly” suits there needs better…. typical
Typical?
And no ma’am, we don’t say fortnight. And we giggle when we hear it on BBCAmerica. It sounds like a sudden attack of Shakespeare to us.
TYPICAL AMERICANS AND THEIR WACKY LINGO, AMIRITE MATE?
Americans are weird
um…”bi-weekly” means twice a week…also, ‘apparently’ and ‘their’…you are welcome.
-”typical” american
bi·week·ly
/baɪˈwikli/ Show Spelled [bahy-week-lee] Show IPA adjective, noun, plural -lies, adverb
–adjective
1.
occurring every two weeks.
2.
occurring twice a week; semiweekly.
Well, I hope he eventually gets a “new skin” donation!
He needs to raise his prices!
If a casino company paid $28,000 for a sandwich that bears the image of the Virgin Mary, I’m sure a permanent tatoo of their brand on his forehead must be worth way more then the $20,000 he charges.
What is wrong with the word fortnight?
i was wondering the same. are you american? maybe it’s not in common usage in the states, apart from Frasier and people like that
I’m American and I have never heard anyone use the word “fortnight”. Ever. So if I heard someone use that word in an actual conversation, I’d probably think they were trying to be funny.
I am American and have lived in the UK for almost 12 years. I only heard it in America in an academic setting and I hear it all the time here in the UK. There are many words and phrases that are and aren’t used in each other’s respective countries. Also, that thing with dropping in the word “typical” is about the common practice of making fun of Americans. Britain is very xenophobic even though if you read the newspapers you would think they are some of the most “culturally diverse” places in the world. Nope. Some of them, usually the not very bright ones, think it is perfectly acceptable to flat out make fun of a person because they are from America. Don’t feel put out though, they don’t like Germans or French or Polish or ANY country which plays against them in football.
I think it has to do with the whole “used to be an empire” thing and the intelligent Brits agree with this. There’s also a bit of jealousy as well. So, the next time you hear a Brit making a rude remark (which they will pass off as “humour” which, you, being American “won’t get” according to them) simply ignore it because it’s just how the bored amongst them get their kicks.
Hang on, you’re commenting that Britain is xenophobic and makes fun of America and other countries. Yet you have just generalised and entire country in one statement. Maybe a lot of people here, do make comments regarding America etc but the majority of British people are open minded enough not to believe stereotypes about countries and their people.
Also, yes fortnight is commonly used here.
Oldy but goody:
I do miss these boys….
I’m American and the only time I hear fortnight is from my English inlaws… that and listening to the wireless. Is that because they’re old or is that what you really call the radio?
people say the wireless, but in a silly way, it’s old fashioned
hence Jessica’s comment re: fortnight
he may not win the prize for ugliest tattoos, but he very clearly wins the prize for stupidest tattoos. of all the simply brainless shit that’s been inked on a person and featured on this site, this just has to take the cake. IT. HAS. TO.
Screw the ugliest/stupidest argument. He may be unconventional, but this guy ROCKS.
wow, i read the article, you weren’t kidding about crackwhoreconfessions. i thought that was a parody of the websites on his face.
P.S. do americans not say ‘fortnight’? i don’t get that comment
i have never heard anyone say “fortnight” without doing it mockingly. even my english friends.
bizarre. i’ve *never* heard anyone say it mockingly. or maybe i often have and it always goes over my head because it seems a perfectly reasonable thing to say
no seriously, fortnight and fortnightly are not odd things to say in britain
very odd in the states…maybe a history prof or paul revere scholar, but no one else
Agreed. My Brit hubby says “fortnight” often. It’s adorable.
what do you mean by often, like how many times a fortnight? ok that would be a pretty unnatural question!
i guess america has changed my english friends then, because “fortnight” is one of those pompous, wannabe-shakespeare kind of things to say. i guess it’s “normal” in britian, but being pompous and arrogant is pretty much normal, too.
rude
i know, thank you
if you look at this thread, wagonlover, anony mouse and thomp have all said the same as me, i.e. who says ‘fortnight’ ironically? they also didn’t get the association, so it must be a cultural thing.
maybe in your culture it’s something only pompous people would say, but it really is normal (without the quotation marks!) here. we would say “my ex-wife has custody and i only see the kids once a fortnight” or “i’m doing evening classes in spanish mondays and wednesdays and we have vocab test once a fortnight”
aaah dear, i’m arguing on the internet again, why do i do it? anyway ben, i wasn’t complaining in the 1st place – i was just saying fortnight/irony/huh? and i was 1 of 4 people to do so in quite a small sample of comments
what kind of allies would be we be if we couldn’t give each other shit??? THAT’S WHAT BEING FRIENDS IS ALL ABOUT
not only in britain, australians say fornight as well, as in i get paid by the fortnight. which rolls off the tongue better than i get paid after every 14 days.
Agreed. When I worked in the civil service in the higher echelons of government, I heard the word every day.
saying fortnight is not very common but I have never heard it said mockingly. I don’t get that comment either.
I thought still thought this was fake until I searched online and found this video just shot yesterday lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C9YnGLvEls
that guys an idiot
I’m curious what happens when those sites are no longer working.
He gets a tattoo with “Error 404″ below them.
WIN!!
you’re full of more win than anyone on here, i swear, anna
What a moron!
If the choice is between Zombie Boy and Billy, I’ll go with Zombie Boy.
inside an awful cover to be judged by
a golden rule:
the honor of a fool
may yet shame all
who fell a folly shy
a deed well done knows none of vanitie …
Damn. You had me all hot and bothered until I realised you didn’t use the word “fortnight.”
I’m so confused. He looks like a complete idiot, but is actually intelligent and well-spoken. I guess you really *can’t* judge a book by its cover.
Ummm – well known boxer in Alaska? Well, I live in Anchorage, Alaska and can’t recall even seeing this guy walk down the street, never mind read about him all over the paper. I think – not so well known.
He could donate his brain to Zombie Boy!
Yeeeah, I gotta say, this guy is kinda hot.
In the second picture. Not the first. But dude has potential.. and he has a heart. Win win.
more evidence 2012 needs to live up to expectation
i’m glad i’m not the only one openly embracing a swift and stunning end to it all
holla!
Bible!
…Fortnight.
pompous oaf
(no i’m not gonna claim that oaf is a normal thing to say!)
clearly they arnt real tattoos ;p
check the myspace vid, eli. these are, horrifically and sadly, very real
the word i MEANT to use there was youtube!
This guy and Zombie aren’t even in the same league. Rick is awesome and sexy, this guy is…not.
ben,
i’m a hetero woman who finds his face attractive. there’s 100% more offensive, tasteless talk in these Interwebs from men about women’s T&A than i can stand, so it’s all good.
just keeping it light.
I bet his mum is proud of him
I thought “there’s no way there is an actual website called crackwhoreconfessions.com :S ” there is… im thoroughly creeped out…
So he donated his kidney to a complete stranger and paid for his flight by selling permanent adspace on his body? Extremely admirable but I don’t know if too many people would choose this route to make money. Either way, he’s doing more good than most people ever will.
whoever wrote this site is absolutely hilarious. hooray for wit, vocabulary and freetime.
erm…maybe it is diferent where this guy is from but where I live you cannot make a blood or platelet donation within 12months of being inked…6 months if you have a rare blood type that is urgently required. Do they not have these restrictions where this guy is from?
you’re absolutely right.
Couldn’t he have gotten inked afterwards to pay off a debt or loan for the flight? Or gotten the ad deal fully sorted out beforehand and then carried out his commitment to get the tattoo afterwards? I mean, there are a multitude of possible explanations.
He has won the “Moron of The History of Mankind” award.
Are you guys kidding? Of course Brits use the term fortnight. Why would it be “pompous” or “wannabe Shakespearean” for us to do so? It’s just the word we use for a two week block of time, hardly some pretentious or ridiculous term, like saying “verily” every two seconds or something. We don’t always speak the way people in America do or have the same social or linguistic interpretations of certain words or phrases and, although I’ve always found American vernacular both charming and endlessly varied, I really don’t see how that’s a bad thing.
Also, come on, the guy’s heart is clearly in the right place, even if his face may now look as if it would be better off in a bag.
shame about the tats coz he is friggen hot!
Woah! I see him all the time at the grocery store! (Yes, I live in Alaska) I’ll have to tell him something next time i see him. My 4 year old always trips on him.
a LOT more than this guy, that’s for sure
…thus turning HIMSELF in to a charity case.
which probably puts you in the smartest 6bn people alive. joy!
smoking hot face??? really??? he looks stoned off his gourd in the first pic, and in the second looks like 3/4 guys you see walking down the street in my college town, aka boring as shit. he is also wearing a hat with dollar signs on it.
i wont make a fun of a guy for doing stuff for charity, but i think the hat is fair game.
can you be admirable and also kind of a tool? after seeing this, i think the answer is yes.
i thought he was kinda cute too…but those tats…i wouldnt be able to actually go anywhere with him
WAIT WAIT WAIT
“he’s sexy” ???????
i am doing something terribly, horribly wrong if this guy is sexy and the only play i’ve been getting is from ex-girlfriends.
natalie…either i have a problem or you do.
(anna, feel free to chime in and say we both do)
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Sure, his heart seems to be in the right place, but the adtats scream “mental.” His work involves not wearing a shirt, so, other than being a bit “off” and possibly using this as a plea for attention in hopes of getting more web sites on board, he would have been better off having the tattoos done on his torso.
I hope you weren’t expecting me to comment on whether I think he’s sexy. In the second picture he does have a bit of a Travis Pastrana thing going on. I LOVE to watch the wild and wacky things he (Pastrana) does and I reckon the chicks find him pretty hot, but my admiration for the male figure is limited to observation of them with a sense of admiration similar to how a heterosexual man comfortable with his sexuality sees other men.
^that^
so just cause he’s “cute” it’s ok to look like a tool-belt?? This guy is a moron….watch the video a few posts up, then tell me he’s “cute”
ain’t no doubt about it, anna.
chicks be hotter yo
wtf is wrong with these girls??
all i can say is that the youtube videos don’t do the above pictures justice. at all. hot body though.