« Previous Come Back One Year. Next! | Wendy Who? Next »
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Wow, how does one choose among a bevy of such lovely ladies? I suppose one doesn’t have to when one has a comically oversized right arm and most of the ladies are missing 30 to 50 percent of their body parts.
 | ed - never shown pub… on You Only Life Once |
 | Jeff the K!iller on Congratulations |
 | Joy on Keep it in Your Magazines |
 | salem on Warp Rarefaction |
 | Julie on Happy Mother’s Day! |
 | Anna Rexia on Warp Rarefaction |
 | kackyw on Happy Mother’s Day! |
 | Mumra on Do I Have Enough Piercings to … |
| kackyw on Happy Mother’s Day! |
| kackyw on Stay Classy, San Diego |
Oh, wow! Now THAT is shitty ink!
Eunuchs get all the babes.
Wow. Words fail me. There’s so much wrong it’s difficult to figure out where to begin.
Girls are reduced to the important parts ;o)
Him too, I guess. Judging by his disturbing lack of genitalia, I’m just not sure what his “important part” is.
armpits? man boobs?
His comical “gangsta” necklace.
I like how the lovely lady in the lower left has a right nipple that can look around her right arm to see behind her!
Bwahahahahahaha! That must mean she’s prey rather than predator.
The image of breasts romping through the savanna like gazelles did me in.
…speechless…
The crappy tattooed women have crappy tattoos themselves.
Awww…a recursive tattoo, maybe this was done by a computer programmer. It would explain a lot.
This guy is proud enough of this shit to go shirtless but hey what a body eh? This has to rank in the top ten of bad ink on this site. Holy shit,The worst idea I could think of was a full size portrait of “Gomer Pyle”then this comes along.Microphone lady and what’s her name from 10000 corpses move over.
I’m seconding this as worst ink.
Not to mention, this was not done in one session. He went BACK, at least once, to get more of this ‘notebook-of-a-13-year-old-boy-doodling’ on him. Blech.
What makes you think that? Just curious, because I sat through five hours of work, and this doesn’t look like it could’ve taken more than an hour.
I’m saddened that no matter how much I zoom, I can’t make out the words. And WTF is up with the oversized bling on the two old guys in this pic?
Do the women (Mo, Kris?, Guacamole?? Those are names, right?) know about this tattoo? Are they, like, his friends? And if so, what kind of skanks are they? I feel like I simultaneously want to know as little as possible and as much as possible about these hicks.
I want to know if the lady on the left of the photo is actually pictured in the tat! Is she Kris, perhaps? or Guacamole?
I’m thinking it’s as close as he’ll ever get to having women on him. It looks like it’s his fantasy scene, where he’s skinny (let’s set aside the deformed arm for now) and surrounded by hotties. It really does look as though he drew it himself. And, consdering it does look like it was done around the 1970s, there weren’t tattoo shops on every block downtown, so he probably found a back alley scratcher who did it for a really cheap price (such as a few dime bags of meth).
Did they have meth in the 70-es?
I know it already existed in the 40s, though I don’t know when recreational use began.
That’s the comment of the new decade.
I’m seeing “WhoIs” instead of “Guacamole”. And if he is asking, “Who is Kris Mo” then I say to him, “I don’t know sir, you tell me!”.
You can tell that it’s a self portrait because the guy is wearing his Jay-Z necklace bling, and so is the beloved keeper of this tat.
Is this another Dali tattoo??
dali could not have imagined anything this disturbing.
Why? What does he not get about permanent?
This reminds me of something Chris-chan would draw.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I guess those are the boyfriend-less girls he was looking for…
Thank you for knowing what I was talking about. Seriously, all it needs is a medallion.
I clicked the comment section purely to find out if there were other people reminded of Chris-chan. Funny to actually find them.
I clicked the comments section just to make a Chris-Chan joke. Small world.
Excuse me, look around the neck of the duckless male. Clearly a Sonichu medallion drawn with the same care and attention to detail as the rest of the tattoo. This is clearly the TRUE and ORIGINAL Sonichu sweetheart hanky panky tattoo.
Clyde? Dude you better run before Chris breaks you dead D:
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay…this is just a pen drawing, right? Not an acutal, permanent tat?
That’s all it is, right?
Um…right?
Denial is not just a river in Egypt. I find it so nice that you have hope for this guy.
I choose to believe this one is photoshopped. Sometimes faith helps us maintain our sanity.
Surrender all sanity, those who enter this site.
PERFECT! My sentiments exactly!
WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????
Gargh, erp, urm….
DERP!
Um…where does his right arm go?? And why does the woman on the lower right have her head on backwards? So much fail in one place.
This “artwork” defines what this site is all about. This is perhaps the single crappiest tattoo I’ve ever seen.
I agree with you.
Nah. nah. nah. The crappiest one still must be the “something” one, presented for our enjoyment some months ago. However, this one is a very close runner-up.
i hope it IS real and not just pen.. what a tool.
nice bling homie. lulz.
OMG! I get it now! It really is a self-portrait- he did it himself. There is no other explanation… is there? I don’t consider myself an artist and I’ve never given anyone a tattoo but I’m sure I could do better than this.
the woman on the lower right has possibly the most poorly drawn head and body that we’ve ever seen on this site. for real. its all uphill from here folks!
http://ugliesttattoos.com/2009/12/18/someone%E2%80%99s-getting-knee-socks-for-christmas/#comments
Not true.
It looks like Thom Yorke after getting a bucket of acid dumped over his head.
oh yeah. that guy. with the bacon arm.
but at least he wasnt being used as someones ego-boosting sex prop. i dont think… though i really have no idea what his purpose is.
This tattoo just makes me laugh, there are so many things wrong with it! Now if he used a mirror and did all the work himself then I give him props, but I find it doubtful. He finds himself so desirable that he is drawn surrounded by womanish figures yet he doesn’t have any junk. And that we don’t second guess his machismo he names the ladies. Ha! The “ladies” all look like dolls that have the wrong head on the wrong body. Listen I’m not even going to go into how the fella has no arms and several of the bodies aren’t closed.
This goes right up there with Werewolf Tranny Polio Jesus in the worst of the worst category.
Really? I thought WWTPJ was one this site’s high points.
Yeah, but this site’s high points are like real world low points. We need a nickname for this tattoo.
Bling-sporting eunuch skankwich?
Tranny Magnet Mike?
ROTFLMAO!!
Malformed Mannequin Mike?
I suggest “bling-sporting eunuch skankwich”. (Tried to suggest it yesterday, but I don’t see my comment.)
*DING* I believe we have a winner… that is so funny… can’t stop laughing.
Thanks! Wow– perhaps soon I can think of myself as “the person who named the meme known as ‘bling-sporting eunuch skankwich’.”
I like this. Not as much as mine (*snorfk*), but it’s harder to say and that makes it very cool.
See that line between Kris’ boob and Mo’s thigh/stomach?
Obviously what happened is that his eight-year-old son walked into the titty bar instead of staying in the car like he was supposed to. His son drew this picture of his experience, and then died in some horrible accident shortly thereafter. Since it was the last picture he ever drew, his dad got it tattooed on his body.
So, actually, kind of a nice gesture.
You have no idea how much I am hoping that is true. Also that it was the artists first and it was done for free.
Thank you, Mandy. You beat me to it. These are CLEARLY the tat-ees favorite girls down and Wild Dolphin Nights. Stop by if you are ever traveling south on 75 from Gainsville to Ocala – it’s a hoot. They do free body shots on the anniversary of little Jahydin’s death.
Nice ass on the chic on the lower left.
I mean the one on his back!
She’s not nearly as hawt as his one Popeye arm.
wow, thanks for pointing that out. kris’ crack does NOT look natural.
Mo?
Moe? Mom?
This picture looks like it’s from the 70′s. So that means this is probably really saggy now.
That can only have improved it.
It was taken with an iphone app camera that has vintage film and lenses.
Looks like he did it himself holding up a hand mirror with one hand and the tattoo gun in the other.
And he has it uncovered out in public!!!! Jeez…..
If I were this man, I don’t think I would so boldly advertise just how little experience I had in viewing actual, real nude women.
I find this delightfully ironic. The childlike style seems quite natural and un-self-conscious, and captures very well a certain un(res)trained boyish wonder towards the nude female form. (So many artists try to imitate childlike scrawls, but rarely capture their spirit of authenticity.) In the process it calls into question the entire concept of “outsider art.” Bravo.
My God Jeebus please tell me you’re being facetious!
Did you not see it’s written in the facetious font?
These must be the nudie people that the lion & the kitteh from the backestry the other day belong to. They’re just not colored in yet.
http://ugliesttattoos.com/2010/05/18/funny-tattoos-cat-paws/
Guy: I need a tattoo of myself and 3 hot chicks. How much?
TatooshopOwner1: A grand.
Guy: I need a tattoo of myself and 3 hot chicks . How much?
TatooshopOwner2: Five hunnies.
Guy: I need a tattoo of myself and 3 hot chicks. How much?
TatooshopOwner3: Fifty bucks – but I can only put on your back.
Guy: Deal!
This should be Ugliest Tattoos’s header or something. DEFINITELY one of the top 10 worst on here, along with Werewolf Tranny Polio Jesus and that huge one of the squatting faun guy with the flames coming out of the ass.
All I keep thinking is his arm is so big because these are all the girls he’s JACKING OFF to hoping one day, some day, to get.
FAT CHANCE NOW YOU PUDKNOCKER!
Or Fat chance 20 years ago. I bet that arm is of hulk x 10 now.
Freak.
8Jwpbp fjxdftibxgjy, [url=http://yzntqnqjbmkh.com/]yzntqnqjbmkh[/url], [link=http://znerlveoemej.com/]znerlveoemej[/link], http://gitdzhnjncge.com/
This will improve his chances with the ladies no end, I’m sure.
*barf*
[...] Wһеח Dіԁ Mу 13-Year-OƖԁ Cousin Gеt Hіѕ Tattooi… [...]
I have another recommendation/request/plea to Jessica: What about UTHOF (Ugliest Tattoos Hall of Fame)?
I definitely would vote for this one, as well as WWTPJ.
I was thinking the same thing. A super page if you will.
I would get a skin graph and go get something real done. That makes me angry and it’s not even my tattoo!
*graft
The asscracks are the worst/ funniest art we’ve seem on here. I hate to do it but I feel compelled to comment on his body shape. Can his shoulders possibly slope more and actually exist. A new species?
The medical terms for those shoulders are
icnic Hams
Picnic .I don’t know where the happy face came from.
Wow. This one makes the Devils rejects tatt actually look good!
Wow. Crude execution of perhaps the most sophmoric concept on this site, which is truly saying something.
IMHO, this is not a 1970 photo nor tattoo. Check the arm-band tattoos on the “women” in question.
I’ve seen better art on public bathroom walls!
There’s a reason that his right arm is comically oversized — the chicks in this tat are the closest he’ll ever get.
This site will give me a WTF overdose someday. I mean… WTF?! I cannot understand why someone would want to keep a horrible tattoo like that one.
And the lady in the lower left corner looks just… Yeah, I think I believe the theory that this was drawn by a 13-year-old.
[...] When Did My 13-Year-Old Cousin Get His Tattooing License … [...]
I get it now. He’s a eunuch in the imperial harem. He’s the harem girls’ favorite eunuch because they can tell him all of the problems that they’re having with the sultan.
What’s up with the names on the girls? MO? Is this supposed to be a representation of Iowa and the surrounding states?
When you get a tattoo the artist sketches it first and shows you before any ink is put down. What scares me is this guy saw the concept art and was like “Yes this is great please put this on my back forever”.
That is what worries/shocks/terrifies me about so many on this site….
Not always. I have seven tattoos that were drawn freehand. But then, mine were done by skilled professionals. Still, though, I’m baffled at how this guy certainly has seen his own back tattoo by now, yet still displays it proudly in public. I’m equally baffled at his being in public without a shirt, with that slouching posture and studly (sarc) build.
I have a small pink monarch butterfly tattoo – nothing fancy, but beautifully done – and I have a feeling I put about a thousand times more thought and effort into it than this guy put into that – whatever.
Have you managed to get Dr. Venture yet?
Why does this guy think he needs four woman; ’cause having one woman laughing at his man-hood isn’t enough, he need four.
For someone calling themselves, “tattoonoobie,” not only is your meticulous, detailed process towards getting a tattoo enough to bring a tear to a tattoo artist’s eye (in a good way, **sniff), but your outline of what THIS bunghole went through to get HIS tattoo is equally spot-on. Bravo!
Heh…thank you, Michael! Actually, some friends gave me crap because I took so *long* to get my ink. I spent almost three months just researching tattoo artists. It’s a concept I read here time and time again: how will I feel about this artwork/concept 30 or 40 years from now? I chose something I have loved since childhood, and will love until the day I die. I would rather take the time and be *sure* than to follow an impulse I would almost instantly regret.
I honestly am not trying to sound all high-and-mighty here, and I know the majority of people who get tattoos do so after careful and sober consideration. But I see some of the ill-conceived, poorly carried out, and downright bizarre choices displayed on this page, and I just wonder what mental imbalances and/or chemicals were involved in some of them.
I am preaching to the choir, I know.
It’s too bad that those five rules you made for yourself aren’t mandatory for people to get a tattoo. I hope that you stick around here. Your comment may not be as entertaining as the owner of a tattoo featured here storming in with a severe case of butthurt, even though no negative comments regarding said tattoo are in the thread, but damn that was great reading.
So… when are we gonna get shit-faced and get BFF tattoos?
As soon as I find a way to misspell “Anna Rexia.”
Thats it, too much StarWars for me… I read the pot about 3 times before I worked out that “Tattoonoobie” was NOT, in fact, a reference to the planet farthest from the bright centre of the universe.
sadly i dont think this guy is experiencing the amount of regret he should be, because hes showing off the hideous end result in public. NO SHAME. why do the wrong people always have NO FREAKING SHAME.
[...] When Did My 13-Year-Old Cousin Get His Tattooing License? – Ugliest Tattoos – Funny Tatt… [...]
Wait. You have a bulletin board featuring Chinese girls with a condition known as “hairy crabs/chinese mitten crabs?” Am I reading this correctly?
ps – gah ni (你他妈的)
[...] When Did My 13-Year-Old Cousin Get His Tattooing License? – Ugliest Tattoos – Funny Tatt… [...]
What you can’t see in this shot is the tattooee’s white cane. “It was a slow day at the parlor, so when this guy comes in I let little Bobby try out his “Junior Ink” set we got him for Christmas .”
wow, i always stop to wonder if the person who did that tat was a 2 year old…
O QRWA!!! co za kolo ja pierdole
That is some SERIOUSLY epic cave art.
Why the fuck does some people want to ruin their bodies?