2010 May - Ugliest Tattoos

Now It’s Time to Get Drunk. You Know, for the Troops. Or Something

May. 31, 2010

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Happy Memorial Day, tattoo lovers! Please enjoy this selection of patriotic tattoos as you put the final touches on the dish you’re bringing to that pot-luck barbecue (i.e. opening a can of three-bean salad and dumping it into a Tupperware container).

Funny Tattoo - RIP Bryce and Seth

Submitted by: Anon via Submission page

I’d like to thank our troops for fighting for our rights, including the right to bear arms. I would also like to thank Banana Boat for producing SPF 100 sunscreen, which keeps me from looking like this guy when I exercise my right to a bare neck.

Submitted by: Alfie via Submission page

We also have the right to get really shitty tattoos of the Statue of Liberty holding a machine gun. I’m not sure which Constitutional amendment that one is.

Submitted by: Jova via Submission page

This guy knows what I’m talking about.

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<a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2010/05/31/funny-tattoos-memorial-day/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2474" title="Funny Tattoos: I donâ��t have any guns, but I do like to name my kitchen appliances. My salad spinnerâ��s name is Spingram Cecil Connor III" src="http://ugliesttattoos.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/unclesamsecret_anon-p.jpg" alt="Funny Tattoo - RIP Bryce and Seth" width="500" height="375" /></a> see more <a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget">Ugliest Tattoos</a>

Liberty Enlightening the World by Singing a Number from La Cage aux Folles

May. 31, 2010

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My Lady

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Is “Lady Liberty holding a machine gun with her tits hanging out and also suffering severe side effects from a botched MtF gender reassignment surgery” something that someone would get a tattoo of? A few minutes ago I would have said “no.”

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<a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2010/05/31/funny-tattoos-lady-liberty/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img class="aligncenter" title="Funny Tattoos: USA! USA!" src="http://ugliesttattoos.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/129193017163064451.jpg" alt="My Lady" /></a> see more <a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget">Ugliest Tattoos</a>

The Champagne of Whores

May. 30, 2010

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Funny Tattoos - More Like

Submitted by: facebook via Submission Page

I’ve always wondered what the Miller High Life girl looked like naked. Not quite as sexy as I imagined, but still better than my naked Chef Boyardee tattoo.

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<a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2010/05/30/funny-tattoos-miller-low-life/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img class="aligncenter" title="Funny Tattoos: College students shouldnâ��t be allowed to get tattoos: Exhibit A" src="http://ugliesttattoos.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/129102963899553141.jpg" alt="Funny Tattoos - More Like " /></a> see more <a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget">Ugliest Tattoos</a>

Shark Weekend

May. 30, 2010

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Duh Nuh Duh Nuh Duh Nuh

Submitted by: a mate via Submission Page

Well folks, with the long weekend underway, we here at UT feel we should warn you about that perennial Memorial Day danger: sharks.

What, you think that sharks aren’t a danger to your barbecue just because you aren’t near the ocean and in fact live in a landlocked state? Think again.

Submitted by: bmezine.com via Submission Page

So, if you see a shark, throw a slice of pizza and then run in the opposite direction. The shark will usually go after the pizza.

Submitted by: on my leg via Submission Page

If you see a shark with King Kong, well, then you’re pretty much fucked. It’s probably best to run in the same direction as your slowest buddy and hope they get him first. Or hope that Godzilla shows up to save you.

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<a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2010/05/30/funny-tattoos-shark-weekend/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img class="aligncenter" title="Funny Tattoos: duhnuhduhnuhduhnuh DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH NUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" src="http://ugliesttattoos.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/129065200742498450.jpg" alt="Duh Nuh Duh Nuh Duh Nuh" width="500" height="375" /></a> see more <a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget">Ugliest Tattoos</a>

Meanwhile, on the Savanna

May. 29, 2010

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But I’m hungry!

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Hey, you long-necked perv, you’re supposed to be eating leaves and twigs. Not that. Don’t make me get out my pepper spray, climb up onto a ladder, and use it.

Anyone notice anything else that’s strange about this giraffe? Click to see more… »

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<a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2010/05/29/funny-tattoos-giraffe/?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget"><img class="aligncenter" title="Funny Tattoos: But Iâ��m hungry!" src="http://ugliesttattoos.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/129113869130358550.jpg" alt="But Iâ��m hungry!" /></a> see more <a href="http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org?utm_source=embed&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=sharewidget">Ugliest Tattoos</a>

He Was a Great Cat. On the Inside

May. 29, 2010

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Whoa Buddy

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

This is a tattoo of Buddy. Do you want to know who did this tattoo? Buddy.

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Eat a Sandwich, Girlfriend, You’re Totally Getting Barbie Thighs

May. 28, 2010

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Photo removed per owner’s request.

Submitted by: Alex M. via Submission Page

Does anyone else love that olde-time Barbie was always giving the side-eye, like she’s worried some bitch is about to sneak up and yank down her zebra-striped bathing suit? THERE’S a Barbie characteristic that I’ve internalized and emulated into adulthood (despite that fact that all my Barbies were manufactured in the eighties and had the moronic, straight-ahead Stepford stare that we’ve all come to know and love). I may not be 5’ 9” or have a 36-18-33 figure, but I’ve always got plenty of stab-eye to go around.

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Class Man

May. 28, 2010

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Totally

Submitted by: on my friend kyle’s leg via Submission Page

Let’s face it: the best way to impress a woman is to just walk up to her and blurt out the name of whatever sex organ(s) pops into your mind first (back me up ladies).

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

This, of course, won’t work if you have the mental capacity of a below-average paperclip and therefore have never been able to master the use of language. Then you’ll have to find some other way to offend attract a mate.

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

That is the only possible explanation for the existence of these tattoos.

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Girl I’m Just a Peepster for Your Love

May. 27, 2010

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Not a Peep!

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

What do you think this little guy is listening to? Peep Trick? Or Gladys Knight and the Peeps?

I went there.

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This One Goes Out to All the Ladies

May. 27, 2010

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I Used to LOVE that Shit

Submitted by: its on me via Submission Page

This guy knows what the ladies like. Gum. Right girls? Thought so.

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

This guy apparently lets his guns do the talking. Unfortunately, all I’m hearing is “I’m a tool.” Where’s our fucking gum, asshole?

Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page

Love what? I don’t think I like what this tattoo is implying: that the gum is already in his mouth. You’re supposed to offer it to the ladies BEFORE you chew it, dummy. No one wants it after it’s already in your mouth.

Or maybe they do. Maybe those lipstick stains are from the failed attempts of ladies to grab the gum directly out of his mouth. Right? Just say yes.

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Archive for May, 2010

Now It’s Time to Get Drunk. You Know, for the Troops. Or Something

Liberty Enlightening the World by Singing a Number from La Cage aux Folles

The Champagne of Whores

Shark Weekend

Meanwhile, on the Savanna

He Was a Great Cat. On the Inside

Eat a Sandwich, Girlfriend, You’re Totally Getting Barbie Thighs

Class Man

Girl I’m Just a Peepster for Your Love

This One Goes Out to All the Ladies

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