Ugliest Tattoos: Bad, Awful & Horrible tattoos

 

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Ask Her About Her Molasses Swamp. No Wait, Don’t

Submitted by: shabangbang via Submission Page

Just looking at this tattoo is enough to give you a sugar high. And a cavity. And type-2 diabetes.

But then, I was always more of a Chutes and Ladders person anyway.

Not everyone has such rosy memories of this game.

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  1. zhoen says:

    That would be amazing and cool and wonderful, were I seven years old. Candyland? Why not Smurfs and Freakies?

  2. ctyler says:

    When she’s in her 80s all that candy will have a layer of that grayish crap on it….but she’ll keep trying to offer it. *shudder*

  3. Oscar says:

    My favorite part is the flower under the bell jar.

  4. Zooter says:

    Sure, it’s stunningly inappropriate and all, but still…it’s kind of awesome.

    • athene says:

      I know this should make me shudder, and when she’s 50 it will, but I have a weird fascination with it now. Maybe I just really liked Candyland, I doubt I’d feel that way if it was Hungry Hungry Hippos.

    • jesi says:

      i agree, kind of awesome. at least its well done. its not horrifying. does anybody else remember the creepier candyland characters? a skinny smarmy pedophile looking dude offering some candy? and a pudding pop guy who was all melty and looks like a pile of poo? glad she didnt get those. GOOD CALL [i almost never get to say that on here!]

      • jesi says:

        on the flip side, she can lure little kids with “i have candy… on my back. wanna see? … also i know your mom. get in the van.”

    • Stripperclip says:

      Agreed. Not an “ugly” tattoo at all. I’ll point out that for the most part, I don’t comment on content, as that’s the whole point of getting inked, right? The art is representative of the wearer.

      I wouldn’t have Candyland (Or even Mousetrap!) all over my back, but she apparently loves it. Good for her! At least she had the common sense to get an artist she trusted to drop ink where she cannot see it, unlike some of the featured works on this blog…

      • Sherri says:

        I agree, it’s really well done. What I’d like to know is, what DO others do when they get to inspect the finished product of a shitty tattoo, say, on their back? I sure would love to be a fly on the wall.

        • Stripperclip says:

          “…and in other news, a local man is under arrest in connection to the recent homicide of a tattoo artist…”

      • zhoen says:

        Actually, now, Mousetrap would be fun!

        • Stripperclip says:

          Heh. Connect Four, Sorry! Or…Waitaminute, it’s just hit me.

          CLUE! The focking playboard from Clue would be epic, especially if you actually put the characters on the board, stalking each other with the implements from the game.

      • Tati says:

        Thumbs up to you

  5. january says:

    that is seriously creepy on a grown woman.

  6. Samantha says:

    thats the “i will never grow up” type of tattoo. yeah the game was fun, and i play with my neices, that are all under 10yrs old. i never thought someone could love that game THAT much…

  7. Sharlee says:

    I bet she’s a raver.

  8. Melissa says:

    Is that a Beauty and the Beast ref in the upper right hand corner?

    Sure it’s colorful and whimsical and well done, and I don’t wanna grow up either. But no way in hell.
    I ‘ll just act out my immaturity. Like still coloring and making faces at people.

    • Furby says:

      Yeah, that’s the rose in a glass from the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast. No idea what it’s doing in this tattoo. Though as someone else mentioned, the Ring Pop might be there because she’s a raver, and there’s a whole subculture thing with candy there.

      • Gretchen says:

        She probably got the rose under glass first, and the larger tat had to work around it. It looks a bit like it might’ve been done by a different artist.

        • xxxroswellxxx says:

          Yeah, the rose was one of the firsts. Several people in her family have a yellow rose tattoo for their grandma.

    • Bigdaddy says:

      Yes it is,and it appears that it was there before the candyland tattoo. This is very well done. Strange, but good work.

  9. tamajinn says:

    I was a bit puzzed by the “magic rose” too… and is that an ice cream cone with a strawberry on top? The asteriod belt of starlight mints makes me smile though.

    CandyLand is one of those rare games where there is absolutely 0% skill or strategy possible. You can’t even let your kid win if you wanted to.

    • sarah says:

      surprisingly, you can! i hand out the cards to my kids cause picking one at a time off the pile is too tricky for little hands. so then i just ‘randomly’ hand out all doubles and no picture cards that they’ve already passed! voila!

      • stuntfrau says:

        Ha! My M.O. on this game exactly. My twins turned 4 this week and I hope they never want to play this game when they realize it doesn’t have to involves mommy doing card forces…

        So boring!

  10. ranana says:

    i just can’t see spending that much money and time to memorialize candy land all over my entire back.

  11. MB says:

    i am in love with her. sorry. she’ll have plenty of time to regret this later, but by then so many people with regrettable tattoos will be around that there will be support groups and what have you and she’ll be fine.

    for now, bask in the awesomeness.

    • ranana says:

      lmfao. the regrettable tattoo support group!

    • texas says:

      this is an amazing tattoo. sure its a bit odd. but its well done, and looks great. If I saw this on a woman I wouldn’t think twice, I would compliment it right away.

    • Anna Rexia says:

      Hear hear! I LOVE this one! True, there’s a lot going on, but the work itself is fantastic and the colouring is brilliant. So what if she’s a raver/former raver/club kid/whatever? The themes used are a bit quirky, so perhaps that adds to why I love it.

      It’s not on a part of her body that likely gets a lot of exposure to others. This is a huge departure from crap like the guy with the huge, veiny penis tattoo that takes up most of his right leg. It’s pretty. I don’t see it as creepy or disturbing. She probably is the type who loves life and may not want to grow up. It depends on what your own idea of growing up means. For me, I’ve gained a certain level of wisdom that comes from being on this planet a while, but I refuse to race with the rats. Many people consider that not growing up. I just call it being me.

      Kudos to candy chick and major props to her ink artist(s)!

  12. Blake says:

    Looking over the comments I think it’s officially become cliche to talk about how this person will look back and regret this in 50 years. So I’ll just say that I’m really suprised there isn’t a penis hidden in here …that I know of.

    • Melissa says:

      I thought the ice cream cone was a little sploogy lookin.

      • Anna Rexia says:

        *urp* It did look wind-blown or perhaps thrown onto the cone from a distance. That is, until I read the word “sploogy” there. Focus on the starlight mints, Anna… focus on the candy. Okay, a little better now.

        Blake, I’m sure you saw my recent smarmy post in retort to someone using what I consider some of the most over-used, trite expressions when it comes to critiquing the tattoos featured here. It’s as bad as reading through the comments on peopleofwalmart.com, where it’s basically obligatory for a lot of people to question why the person pictured does not seem to own a mirror, where they purchase their fashion choices, etc.

        Damn, I’m wordy this week.

  13. Zombie Cupcakes says:

    This is adorable… Someone get me a date this this girl! I would totally make her my girlfriend! (assuming the face isn’t horrible) lol

  14. EMANA says:

    Seriously? . . . I worry about a man that wants to watch small children/cartoons while . . . ew.

  15. alora spinner says:

    Considering some of the terrible tats seen on this site, this one is pretty awesome. Sure, the subject matter is a little random, but it looks pretty well done. Especially compared to some of the crap out there, this one is a WIN!

  16. John says:

    It looks cute now, but what if in a few years time she gains some weight and a striae pops up and splits the face of those in the bottom left ?

  17. Akedos says:

    I smell sex and… candy here. Momma this surely is a dream.

  18. Ami says:

    i can’t get over how she has them out of order :P

  19. Acorn says:

    Can someone please tell me how much would it cost to get this done, how many visits to the artist, time involved etc? It looks like a work of art to me, even if the subject matter is not to my taste. I am guessing it is a big investment.

    • jadefirefly says:

      It is, most definitely. My own back tattoo is half the amount of work here, and that’s being optimistic – it’s probably less. And mine took upwards of 12-15 hours, and cost probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 600-800 dollars.

      It took me over a year to complete. >_> I lost track of what I paid after a while.

      I really love this piece, though!

      • Candyland!! says:

        try a couple grand….and its not finished and it taken over 3 years…thanks for the good comment though!!!

    • Anna Rexia says:

      It depends on the artist, difficulty, subject matter, placement, how many sessions it takes, and chances are I’m missing a few aspects, but that’s the gist. From experience in having been into body art for some time now, larger pieces tend to cost less over all than multiple smaller pieces done in separate sessions that cover the same amount of skin.

      One huge factor is pain tolerance. It can cause a larger tattoo to take considerably longer to produce, and raise the cost. That’s where it depends on the artist; some will charge by the hour and total it all up, and some will quote a set price for the entire piece.

    • Acorn says:

      Awesome! Thanks for the replies. I am slowly getting educated…

  20. Eva says:

    Hey! It’s the original version!

  21. Fanboy Wife says:

    Even though it’s not horribly done, it still is very garish. (Perhaps I’m biased because I never liked Candy Land as a kid.)

  22. rachel says:

    This is freaking adorableness. The only thing which confuses me is the random flower in a bell jar.

  23. bob says:

    she lives in lawrence kansas, saw this at a fall of troy show, my friend wanted to send it to this site, she couldn’t get a good enough picture, glad to see she made it on

    • Candyland!! says:

      uh i dont live in lawrence…that place sucks its full of dirty hippies….probably like you….DIRTY HIPPIE

  24. Denice says:

    Candy-ass!

  25. Tattooed Suzi says:

    Ok, what is the deal with girls and tats of ring pops? Is there an underlying message there about her liking to suck on hard things or what? Someone please tell me because I think I missed something. And what is a Raver? I am so out of the loop.

  26. Tattooed Suzi says:

    I was more of a spin the bottle kinda girl or 30 seconds in heaven. Wait a minute I may have just come up with an idea for some ink.

  27. P.P. says:

    She does not live in lawrence!(fuck that place) but im sure you did see her at fall of troy. I love this tattoo, but as much as girl that its on! Also she is not a raver haha she’s too hardcore for that tehe. I got your back girl!(literally)

  28. Candyland!! says:

    This is my tattoo and i love it! it isnt finished yet and no im not a raver, i dont live in lawrence and when im 80 i hope it looks like a tye dyed shirt haha!! The rose is from Beauty and the Beast and it was done first…someone guessed right. Everyone seems to think that you should have a reason for a tattoo….but you dont. i just like candyland a lot and i like the fun colors and images so quit hating!!! If you’d like to see more http://www.myspace.com/gingerjojo you can see it in progress…for those who like it!!!!

  29. Barbary Lion says:

    Again with the ringpops?

    Well, this validates my long-held plan for a Settlers of Catan back piece…

  30. Zangan says:

    I havent read any of the other comments but im sure there are pletny of guys talking about giving her a nice glaze on her back, or something to that nature.

  31. i love it says:

    I love this piece. I have seen several pictures on facebook. The same guy who did her back, does all my tattoos too. He is the BEST in Kansas City. I don’t know you personally “candyland!!” but I love it. It is awesome, fun, bright and UNIQUE. Kick ass, period.

  32. nichelle says:

    i think this is kinda sweet… and not haha sweet. its actually pretty cool. better then cupcakes and ice cream cones, at least this probably has more meaning

  33. Translucent says:

    Pedophileland the Game: Seriously, who else is going to want to be behind her..”Going for it”?

  34. curtmack says:

    I don’t think Queen Frostine had boobs like that in the original…

  35. AmericanD says:

    Anyone wanna play? We’ll have to use push pins as the pieces though, we don’t want them to fall off if she moves. Something tells me she’ll enjoy that though.

  36. Joshua Doering says:

    Ide like to get her # so I could play on her body ;->

  37. smokestakz says:

    that is nowhere NEAR regrettable…that is the epitome of a free mind and/or a person that loves candyland….

  38. BLicious says:

    I don’t see what is so wrong with this.. I mean, this what I figured was in the mind’s eye of every chick I’ve ever met, ever.. This one just had it drawn on her back

  39. BLicious says:

    Seriously.. It has everything but a unicorn and pale effeminate vampire boy.

  40. IddyBiddy says:

    Seriously… I’d tap that. She’s so colorful and delicious looking. But I’m also a sick fuck.

  41. Gonzo says:

    makes me want to eat mushrooms (not Champinions) and service her from behind.


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