Submitted by: Roger Jeckle via Submission Page
This is Wolverine’s younger brother, Dennis. We’re still trying to figure out what Dennis’s special ability is.
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If This Tat Could Talk
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Like an angry crab
It certainly looks like Dennis’ ability is to melt his massive thighs together.
I really think his special ability is being constipated (which is one step up from the porcupine kid) but if I was robbing a store and this guy came up to me,those enormous thighs would definitly be intimidating.
Does he have “Torgo area?”
I really hope your referring to the MST3k manos:hands of fate “Torgo”.
Oh great, now you’ve made me imagine Hugh Jackman in a CGI-enhanced remake of Manos.
“Let me CARRY your BAGS for YOU!”
*growls and flexes at the camera*
Able to turn his left arm into Jello in a single bound! (feet not required)
Oh geez. That’s all I can say.
Two words: Cottage cheese.
Actually, thinking about it, there’s an episode in I think the 90s X-Men Cartoon where Wolverine gets… warped? Like, someone’s power is to control how time and space looks, so she… warps Wolverine? It really freaks him out, but this might be a tattoo of that particular episode.
Though, I remember him getting really thin and kinda like the portrait of the Scream, not squashed downwards.
I think his superpowers somehow involve his spade shaped stiletto/boots, mardi-gras mask and womanly Mae West hips. Probably coulda pulled off a sexier top if it weren’t for the gimp arm and uneven pectorals.
Wolv-a-deer! He will stab you with his tiny deer hooves of doom!
it honestly looks like the red has been filled in with sharpie. or just really poorly filled in. i’m all for shading, but you can still see a little skin between the outline & the filled in red parts.
I hope to goodness that the whole thing was drawn with washable sharpies,by a third grader, because that hunk of shit is big and awful.
He catches bad guys off guard by smacking them with his little fish mouth.
He kinda has the same hands as the Devil’s Rejects “Baby” tattoo. And arms that don’t match….just like the DRB tattoo. Those thighs scream cellulite. Or THIGH since I don’t see a defined split. And the arm on the right kinda reminds me of a bird feeder, or a…..gumball machine, or something
Is this an alternative origin story for Wolverine? Did an anvil drop on his head? What else would account for his long, boneless arms and his swollen, stumpy legs? My other hypothesis is that Quasimodo is the newest X-Man.
Sadly, in the Marvel Multiverse, there are many, MANY alternative origin stories for Wolverine; some fairly sensible, some quite outrageous and some plain ridiculous. But none that spring to mind at the moment would have him resemble this unfortunate tat.
Is this Wolverine more or less ridiculous than the one with bone claws?
OMG! I just spit chocolate Easter egg all over my computer screen… from out of my nose! Dennis… snort.
Mutated again! Poor Wolverine now has the power to become a blob instead of healing fast.
His mutant power probably is that his ankles don’t snap carrying around that massive body
looks like like he’s squatting. possibly taking a dump.
Why does Dennis have a yellow forehead? Another case of Jaundice?
It appears that Dennis may be a double amputee that has those fancy carbon-fiber lower leg springs that make those folks able to run.
And, perhaps more pedantically, his head seems to be awfully low for the position of the shoulders. I know that this drawing is supposed to be foreshortened to show a lean-forward position, but that head position is still making him look hunch-backed.
In recent issues of Marvel Comics, various characters have been “hulked out” to see how they would look with big muscles.
Well, at least it is not a Marvel Monkey version of wolverine…
Please stop referring to “special” and “retarded” people, please. Some of us work with differently abled (or mentally disabled, if you prefer) children.
I agree on that one. This was probably done by someone who just had no talent nor ability for drawing nor tattooing. I’ve seen art by some differently-abled people that can actually be pretty amazing, actually. I’m sort of hoping that this was a case of markers and alcohol or something…
Where did Jessica refer to him as “Special” or “retarded”? She said special ability, because, let’s face it, the mutants have special abilities. Unless you think laser beam eyes and controlling the weather are perfectly normal abilities.
Hover your mouse over the picture for a few seconds.
What–now “special” is considered a slur as well? It’s no use! Whatever PC term gets promoted, it’ll become a term of abuse within days of the other kids learning it. Maybe we should all just go back to being idiots.
From comments on a number of Cheezeburger sites lately, it looks as if the hyper-sensitive crowd from Daily Squee has invaded. Oh waah waaah, someone used the word “special” in a way which implies the tattoo is “differently abled.”
Fuck that. This is not the Daily Squee, where it’s obligatory to squeal (nay, squee) over pictures of cute little animals, no matter what they grow up to be (rabies-ridden raccoons, for example). This is but one example of what the rest of the internet is like.
I am a mental health professional. Unlike people like Sarah Palin, I don’t refer to my mentally-challenged clients as “my little retard(s),” but in many cases, “special” doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing. Until you’ve heard a client say something akin to “And they say I’m the retarded one?” in reference to seeing someone with a tattoo such as the one featured above, and laughed until your stomach hurt, you haven’t really experienced how “they” think.
Lighten up, Francis (directed toward the two above, not you, Zla’od).
Judging by his stance, Dennis’ special talents lie in rollerskating.
Hey! be nice people. this is an equal employment tattoo showing that blind people are now being hired as tattoo artist. no more discrimination against people with disabilities. next tat is going to be by an artist with parkinson’s disease.
I’m surprised there’s not a Rob Liefeld autograph with it.
You know, I do believe we’ve found a worse comic book character artist than Liefeld. I didn’t think that was possible in this universe.
I really hope he didn’t have to pay a lot for that tattoo. yeesh. The execution is more painful to look than it probably was to get.
Wow… Dennis Logan aka Sloth Man. This is why small children should not be given tat guns for Xmas.
What amuses me most about this atrocity is the femanine shoulder placement.
you know, a few weeks ago a friend of mine said that he had a good friend that was going to bring over his tattoo gun and do some work on him. He asked if i wanted to come over and i declined.
“hey dude, mind if i doodle on your skin with my tattoo gun to get in some good practice? hmm? whats the worst that could happen? its not like its permanent or anything”
Seriously. I’ve heard of people getting I-need-to-practice offers like that, and I always wonder why in the name of all things holy anyone EVER says yes..definitely not worth the money you “save.”
I just got my first tattoo a while back, and luckily it was well-designed and done by a seasoned, veteran tattoo artist. No complaints here, and no likelihood it will wind up on this site, thank goodness.
However, some of the comments here have raised a good question, at least in my mind–and maybe someone who knows more about the art of tattooing can fill me in.
How DO new tattoo artists get their practice in? Is there a “fake skin” medium they practice on before they work on a human subject?
http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=EV1&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&q=tattoo+practice+skin&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=N4LKS_maFoPANrHHgIQF&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CCsQrQQwAA
Wow…learn something new every day. Thanks, Kevin!
The more you know ~~~*
Thats what a $10.00 tattoo looks like!!!
That is exactly what happened. I was there getting some work done on my thigh when this dude was getting finished up. Turns out his 9 year old son died a couple weeks before and this was the last pic the kid made
Yep Dan you’re right. That’s the tattoo artist paying $10 to use this guy as a test monkey. He got off cheap.
IT PAYS TO DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE GETTING INKED!!!!!!
DON’T LET A FRIEND PRACTICE ON YOU!!!!
seems like common sense but as you see here….
This is a tattoo that screams, “My five-year-old nephew drew this and I thought it would be cute to have it inked on my body for eternity.”
[...] this isn’t the worst Wolverine we’ve seen around here. But it certainly isn’t the [...]
That was probably done at Koolsville Tattoo, home of the $10 tattoo!
Oh my god, just the fact that he’s named Dennis… It kills me. It just does.
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*All right.