Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Um, thanks God, I guess. But I hope you got a gift receipt, because this one’s defective. Looks like it’s missing an apostrophe. No, no—don’t worry. I can return it. Spencer Gifts is right on my way to work.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is NOT what comes to mind when I think of paradise. I mean, I’m not saying that I don’t think you have enough room in your pants for the entire Big Island of Hawaii. I just think that I’d have heard about it if plate tectonics had shifted it into your crotch.
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Hah. Ha ha. Heh. Ugh.
-
-
Copy & paste this:
carpe deez nuts? really? thats the best you could come up with?
also, the spongebob belt buckle is a nice touch, really goes well with the armani boxers…
First thing I noticed.
Maybe paradise is under the sea in a pineapple and not actually in his pants…
or… my other comment, another guy who thinks he’s got paradise in his pants… PUHLEASE! LOL
If he spent less time watching SpongeBob, he might realize he spelled paradise wrong. Just a theory
carpe deez nuts is from the movie Waiting
Carpe deez nutz?
Nutz are … squishy. Soft. Fragile. Carpeing them is a self-defense move.
“AAAUGH! Stop carpeing! Stop carpeing!”
I wonder how old that tattoo is, because saying “deez nuts” became passé years ago. Even dumber was that someone started a chain store called “Dee’s Nuts.” It failed.
HEY !!!! look at my name!
Pants on the ground, Mr. Paradise. Lookin like fool wit cha pants on the ground. And that dumbass tattoo.
Every time I see a kid with his pants like this, I just wanna come up behind them and yank ‘em down.
I do love the buckle!
Sponge Bob Spoogepants?
Every time I see someone with their pants down, I want to yank them up BY their pants and glue them on. Or pour super glue down their buttcracks. Thank goodness I’m civilised. heh.
I happen to prefer my father’s threat. As the young man was escorted into the house by my father with 4 brothers lurking behind him and 1 sister (me) who are just waiting for Dad’s reaction to the young man taking out his baby daughter – our sister.
Young man is wearing the ever so fashionable pants with the crotch around the knees. Dad sees the pants.
“Son, do you know what a belt is?”
“Yes sir.”
“I see you aren’t wearing one.”
“Umm, no sir?”
*directed to oldest brother* “Go get my staple gun. I think this young man needs to be sure that his pants stay up and on when he goes out with your baby sister.”
Alas, I did not know children with their pants around their knees could run out the door that fast. As we later heard for MANY years – my father ruined my sister’s social life.
Wish he’d stapled the kid, maybe it’d have made a dent in the fashion scene.
Heh, sounds like your dad did your sister a favor
Alas, we are now 7 years later, thankfully all out of high school and the melodrama. But nope, Dad still ruined her social life.
Really? You want to have a social life with Pants On Da Ground idiots?????? While I am fine if they aren’t at Urkle height, at least pull them up enough so you don’t waddle like a penguin.
i LOVE your dad!
Years ago a coworker told me a funny story about her two sons who were going through a baggy-pants phase. Their grandmama went and got the ugliest belts she could find in her closet and made them wear the belts whenever they came to visit. They got the message.
So…much…douchebaggery….can’t….take…it…Body….Weakening.
The second one, especially, screams “Jersey Shore” to me.
Except I typed “Jersey Short” first. Heh heh heh.
Jersey Shore? Is that the show where those sleazy oompa loompa look-a-likes live out of random strip clubs (or brothels?) while trying to break the record for most Italian stereotypes in each episode?
My ignorance is vast. For example, I don’t know about any Jersey Shore show, or what “Lost” is. NO DON’T TELL ME Also, Twilight. I know Twilight is about vampires — exceptionally whiny ones, if the photos are any indication. But that’s all I know.
Why should you care? Well, I frequently ask questions like “What is a Wonderball?” or “*What* show about the Jersey Shore?” and eventually you’ll get sick of it. it might help soothe you if you knew that I’m not pretending ignorance. I really am ignorant.
Well The way I see it, some things are better left being ignorant about. And just from seeing snippets of that monstrosity known as Snookie chugging down grey goose shots and getting into Bar fights, I would assume Jersey Shore is one of those things.
i dont know what a wonderball is… for a long time i thought jersey shore had something to do with pauly shore, I DONT KNOW WHY. but it is sad you dont know about lost.
A wonderball is a hollow choclate ball with a assortment of candy inside. It usually comes with a prize like a sticker or something. I find it weird that this isn’t the first time I’ve explained what a wonderball is.
A wonderball is a hollow choclate ball with a assortment of candy inside. It usually comes with a prize like a sticker or something. Sadly this isn’t the first time I’ve explained what a wonderball is.
Are you saying that a wonderball is a hollow chocolate ball with an assortment of candy inside?
Also, I did a Google search for “Snookie.” I wish I’d known not to do that. It’s like “yiff,” “felch,” and “anencephaly” — do NOT Google those, and especially do not Google Image them.
Well usually the same type of candy, there should really be a blog with the sole purpose of explaining what a wonderball is. I’d probably be the ruler of it.
I’m not sure I’d put yiff and felch (which I think I learned about on CSI) on the same level as anencephaly. I believe this site provides evidence of anencephaly on a daily basis.
But I had to google Snookie. *shakes brain out*
Oh God why did I google anencephaly. My brain said don’t do it you dumbass, but I did it anyway. Fuck curiousity.
AHHHHHH!!! You said not to google “anencephaly”, so I did of course. No sleep for me tonight.
Be thankful you will get no sleep tonight. If you slept, you’d dream.
You must live in the happiest little bubble in the nation. Would that I, too, could be wholly ignorant about such things. But then I wouldn’t understand funny internet memes! Hmmm. Totally worth being ignorant.
“God’s gift”…to the tattooist’s vacation fund.
“Welcome to Paradise” Pop. 1
“Carpe Deez Nuts” not even with your own hands would I….
Love your response to this douchieness…kudos to you for putting what I was thinking into words….all I could come up with was ughhhhh. ICK!
Today’s Bonus Internets are awarded to you, winkydink. Welcome to
paradiseour little corner of madness on the internet.“welcome to paradise” pop. 1 hand.
Why are you all hatin’ on these guys? They are important to me. They boost my physical self-esteem.
Popquiz!
Paradise is:
A. a nasty shaved crotchal area
B. a spongebob belt buckle
C. a seriously misguided frat guy tattoo, which will hopefully be concealed in a few years time by a beer gut.
Answers on your forearms, please.
Forearms? What happened to biceps?
If those are my only options, I think I’ll take B. At least I could sell it.
Frankly, my idea of paradise has absolutely NOTHING to do with Spongebob.
Then you must be feeling a little Krabby!
ewwwww wonder if paradise is full of crabs….. actually i don’t wanna know or go there!
Well, Spongebob boy’s should be fine, because there is no one else getting near, so no Krabbs.
SpongeBob, Green Day songs and love handles: three things that should NEVER go together.
He probably considered “Welcome to the Jungle” but decided against it because then it would be weird when he shaves his pubes.
This is quickly becoming the male version of a tramp stamp.
ok, maybe its just me, but the paradise guy, those lightening bolts reallllly make his hips look weird. in fact, all 3 of these pictures are kind of awkwardly gross to me. i almost feel as thought i’ve been molested just looking at them.
I am actually to the point where this doesn’t shock me! These guys are a great example of how people are so desperate to get a tattoo they will put anything on their body! They might as well have tattooed the ticket that says “Admit one on the never get laid train.” MORONS
Oh, and by the way a skinny little thing like “God’s Gift” up top isn’t my idea of a good one… I hope he kept the receipts… I have a feeling most people will want to return him!
he he. “Never get laid train” I like that.
Me, too! Sadly, I probably will forget that one when the prime time to use it in person happens.
What was odd to me was when, upon seeing the “Gods Gift” tattoo, my immediate thought was “The second coming ain’t exactly what we were expecting.”
Yeah, I normally go for the scrawny, nerdy guys, but only if they’ve got an IQ high enough to realize that tattooing “Gods (sic) gift” on their area is a bad idea.
They should have just tattooed “I have a tattoo” on themselves. 1) It would still prove they’re “manly” enough to get a tat, 2) Less stupid than “GODS GIFT”
This should definitely be a shoot, screw, or marry. So:
Shoot “carpe deez nutz” because the grammar and font are awful.
Screw “Welcome to Paradise” because a guy who mixes spongebob with emporio armani might at least be amusing in bed.
Marry “Gods gift” because while the tattoo sucks it’s one I could probably survive seeing everyday.
I can’t decide which one I want to screw or marry because I want to shoot them all. I really don’t think you want to screw any of these guys because anyone who puts that much effort into telling you how awesome their schlong is, doesn’t have a lot going on down there.
I’m with LuckyCat. Can’t we just shoot them all? Then again, with how stupid they obviously are, maybe soon they’ll end up shooting themselves.
Yup. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Reload. Rinse and repeat.
Are these men or women? Or both?
Not quite men, I’d say.
Ha Ha Hoo Ha Ha! Great comment!
They’re male, if that’s what you mean.
I’m secretly hoping the 3rd one is a girl. “Why don’t you seize these…oh wait”
Does it say paradise? Or paradie? O_o
Daddy, what does “Carpe deez nuts” mean?
It’s what you say before you say “Veni, vidi, veni.”
I prefer “Vidi, vici, veni.” =)
I sat there matching up the translations for quite a while. Yes, yours makes so much more sense.
I just want to know why the second guy is an odd shade of yellow-green. Maybe he’s trying to emulate his hero, Spongebob?
Jaundis maybe?
win.
If I’m not mistaken, “Carpe Deez Nutz,” was a line by Dane Cook’s character, Floyd, from the movie, “Waiting…” Excellent movie, but to have some quip from one of Dane’s more forgettable roles (not that any of his roles are worth writing home about, but still…) permanently etched into your skin? This is of course a total aside from the fact that these guys are complete morons… more and more of these douchebags are just getting progressively more and more stupid shit. Now that tattooing has become mainstream, it’s ceased to be a rite-of-passage and it’s treated more and more like a fucking punch-line to a as yet unutterable joke. Sad, sad days, these are.
So what do you do when someone comes in and says “I want [some stupid transient thing that only a moron would get]“? I can think of two responses, and neither would be totally satisfying:
“That is stupid and you are a moron”
“Sit right down; that will pay my Visa bill”
What’s with the first guy’s beads, and the second and third, and their huge belt buckles?
Now, now, let’s be civil. These tattoos are simply a WARNING to all who might be drunk enough to think that a night would be in good order with one of these idiots. Even I in a highly intoxicated state could realize a tattoo of “Carpe deez nutz” to in fact be a warning.
If I am drunk enough that getting down with any of these guys seems like a good idea, then I’m probably too drunk to remember how to read.
Yes, but the tattoo in the crotchal area is enough of a warning to me to shake the brain out and attempt to sober up a wee bit. At which point, I hope I can read the neon flashing sign….
Alas, the other side of this I have never been that drunk as to think getting down with any of these reject man-boys is a good idea.
Well when someone seizes his peanuts he wont be happy.
Win.
He’s “Gods” Gift all right. Gag gift!
HA! win
jaundis boy’s armani underwear doesnt look so macho next to his mom’s shower curtain, and the toilet paper. i hope the girl he sexted that pic too was smart enough to say “thanks, but no thanks.”
Is it me, or does the “carpe deez nutz” guy have an outtie belly button?
Okay, now… what I want to know is:
1) Who the heck is PORIO ARMANI? Isn’t the guy’s name GIORGIO? I’m no fashion nut, so perhaps I am mistaken.
2) Is that paradize? With a Z? Because it certainly looks like one. Why else would there be that little flourish at the bottom?
oh i think its ‘emporio armani’
If you actually can look at the picture long enough to read the underpants, they say PORIO ARMAN.
He bought the cheap version apparently. Had to afford that maleho stamp.
None of these fools are ‘sponge-worthy’.
I’m glad that i’m not the only person that got #3 as a WAITING movie reference. “Carpe Deez Nuts! God I can’t wait to quit this job!” lol awesome movie
There are some pretty wacky tattoo ideas here. Where do people think of ideas like those? I wonder if they realize that girls will probably spend some time laughing at their tattoos when they see them at first?!
HA HA! THERE ARE SIXTY-NINE COMMENTS ON HERE! GET IT? SIXTY-NINE COMMENTS ABOUT TATTOOS THAT REFER TO SEX?
Oh wait. Now I’ve done it.
Who ever carpe’s his nuts deserves a prize for making him unable to breed.
I like the SpongeBob beltbuckle, but anyone who pulls their pants down for the purpose of showing off their designer underwear needs a Boot to the Head(tm).
If you are handing out the patented Boot to the Head(tm) for the second offender, can there also be a Clue by Four to the first offender for even THINKING that someone might want to see his skanky oversized plaid panties?
Oh, absolutely. I feel positively generous with Clue by Fours and Boots to the Head whenever I see a stranger’s deliberately displayed underwear.
“Welcome to Paradise”? No, hon, it’s just a penis, not as big a deal as you might think. Why do so many guys have such an overinflated opinion of their crotchular region, as if it is some magical portal to the land of nirvana? I hope all these guys someday need Viagra.
they ruined one of my favorite green day song! way to go!
I love how this guy obviously doesn’t know that “carpe” actually means “pluck.” I don’t think that’s really what he wants. Ouch.