Today we bring you a new feature here at Ugliest Tattoos: Ask a BicepTM. If you’re in need of the answers to life’s burning questions — Is there a god? How many roads must a man walk down? Should I go back to school to get my degree in medical billing? — just Ask a BicepTM! Let’s try it!
Bicep, what should I become?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
Bicep, should I buy The Twilight Saga: New Moon on DVD or Blu-ray?
Submitted by: JenJen via Submission Page
Bicep, my girlfriend wants me to engage in complicated sexual acts involving role playing, leather bondage wear, and a chimpanzee named Jim Lehrer that she met on the Internet, but I prefer good old fashioned cunnilingus. What is your opinion on the matter?
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
THANKS, Ask a BicepTM! I just have one last question. Are you totally awesome?
Submitted by: facebook – ‘yeah,… but i was drunk’ group via Submission Page
Do YOU have a question that only a bicep can answer? Well then you’ve got some serious problems, my friend. Maybe you should seek professional help from a licensed therapist.
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Copy & paste this:
i like the first one! <3
Dear Bicep, where should I never move to?
http://i43.tinypic.com/5fgsv6.jpg
Dear Bicep, I’m having computer issues, who can help me if you can’t?
http://dcimeade.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/tattoosidekick.jpg
Dear Bicep, I’m thinking of buying a digital media player. Which one would you suggest? http://www.mediabistro.com/agencyspy/original/zune-tattoo.jpg
is this too obvious? lol :p
http://i43.tinypic.com/14d0qo4.jpg
That would be Kentucky, if I’m not mistaken.
are we sure that first one is a fish???? nice work,, why can’t i type this without laughing??
It looks like a Goldfish Cracker!
for the first picture– so your telling me you want to be a smelly pit fish?
the second one– your a douche
the third one- your an even bigger douche
and the last one- you my friend are also a douche.
sooo to all but the confusing smelly pit fish, you are all tool bags and douche bags.
I’m not one to accuse pictures of photoshop. But the third picture makes me wonder.
Nope. The lettering is too staggered height-wise, the P is filled in solid, and in spite of his skin being ruddy, I detect some redness around the tattoo, indicating that it’s pretty fresh.
That for sure is a “never gonna get laid again” tattoo.
In that case i have officially lost faith in humanity.
I hate all these people.
I thought that one was Virginia. I have no idea what Virginia looks like and I am right below it.
Learn to Google, idiot.
Harsh
Dear Bicep,
is there a way for me to ask you a question without seeing all the pit hair in the answer?
Oh Kit, I love you.
Dear Kit,
Yes, there is, but there is hair drawn onto the tattoo, which is a vag on the bicep of some dumb chick.
i like the first one… i think silly tattoos that look somewhat home made are endearing… though it does seem like a fad that will soon die just like barbed wire tattoos… shit i think that me liking those tattoos makes me a hipster *jabs eyes out*
You’re inviso-text says that you’re “fucking a bicep.” I assume this to be a typo for “a fucking bicep,” but on the other hand, considering the nature of the site, you may have meant the former version after all.
Oops. A bicep told me to do it. That’s what I get for listening.
Some people hear voices in their head, Jessica hears voices in her bicep.
Yeh dude I really dont care.
They all say, “Don’t date me, I’m an idiot, save yourselves a lot of time.”
Fair enough.
My bicep /is/ a licensed therapist. =D
Therapist consists of the words “The” and “Rapist”.
You see where I’m going with this, lol.
Huh? It says “nineties.”
He’s ensure that he will never get laid for the rest of his life.
i call fake on 2 and 3. Nice try with the redness though.
you can do a lot with overlay in photoshop, and you for sure can do better than those two examples.
But I’m sure blowjobs are still current.
Douchebag. I hope he never gets laid again.
The first one is from NY artist James De La Vega. His street drawings are all over NYC and he has a studio in Spanish Harlem. Very cool tattoo.
i find de la vega annoying as hell. his graffiti is insipid and he’s constantly bombing the trash in my neighborhood.
insipid perfectly describes his graffiti.
Could we have a shoot, shoot, screw and marry on this one?
Dear Bicep,
Is the notion of “romantic Love” a crock of shite?
I have one question and one question only- why?
There is no such word as “bicep.” The name of the muscle you are discussing is “biceps.” That’s right, “biceps.” The word ALWAYS ends in ‘s,’ even when it is singular.
Biceps.
The proper name for the feature you are trying to create is “Ask a Biceps.”
grammar douchebag.
this is his fun. i bet his spouse’s fun consists of smothering him in his sleep.
Lazenby is right to be fair.
Tho it’s a very common error.