Ink Spotter: Sarah L
There was a time in my life not long ago when I’d never heard the word “fursona.”
Lord, what I would give to go back to that time.
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Archive for November, 2009
Put on a Shirt. Both of You
Nov. 30, 2009
Ichi the Petty Criminal
Nov. 30, 2009
Ink Spotter: Alfie
That’s him, officer. He’s the one that stole my purse. I recognize him by the fact that he’s 68 inches tall.
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This Must Be from One of Those Apocryphal Gospels
Nov. 29, 2009
Ink Spotter: Bruno S
Hey, this tattoo of six-pack–having, gasmask-wearing, crucified-with-boat-engines (or something) Jesus may be completely inscrutable, but it least it’s also really ugly.
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Doggy Style
Nov. 28, 2009
Submitted by: my friend tattooed it on this kid via Submission Page
A hippo sporting a mohawk, riding a hotdog, squirting condiments? Well of course it’s party time. That text kind of insults my intelligence.
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Aesop’s FAILbles
Nov. 28, 2009
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
I’m guessing that this is supposed to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but it looks more like a Chihuahua with a Jheri curl.
Whatever it is, it apparently just power-elbowed through your fence. Homeowner’s insurance probably doesn’t cover…that.
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They Don't Call Them the “Bacon of the Sea” for Nothing
Nov. 27, 2009
Ink Spotter: Alex DM
Not sure what to do with all those leftovers from your Thanksgiving dolphin? Well here you go.
What, you don’t eat dolphin on Thanksgiving? Why do you hate America?
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Just Put the Alka-Seltzer in My Blowhole, Thanks
Nov. 27, 2009
Ink Spotter: Brandon
Yep, that’s about how I feel too. Turns out my plan wasn’t very sound. Pre-dinner cocktails probably aren’t the best idea on Thanksgiving, given that dinner is usually around noon. Next year I’ll know better.*
Anyway, I’m off to figure out how to turn leftover cranberry sauce and Brussels sprouts into a breakfast burrito. Think of me while you’re getting a great deal on a plasma-screen TV.
*No I won’t.
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Where’s the Green Bean Casserole?
Nov. 26, 2009
Ink Spotter: Rob O
Happy Thanksgiving, you guys! I’m thankful for all our great readers here at Ugliest Tattoos—you guys have been a great community. I’d like to celebrate by getting at tattoo of each and every one of your names, but I don’t think I have quite enough canvas, so I’m just getting one name as a representative of the whole group. One of you has to be named “Jim Beam,” right?
Speaking of T-Day, I have a plan for some Black Friday shopping tomorrow. It seems that sales start earlier and earlier every year, and I can never get out of bed in time to score the really good deals. So this year I’m going to stay up late, and when it’s time for the mall to open, I’ll just head there straight from dinner. So if you see a drunk woman wearing a Calphalon 4-quart saucepan as a hat and trying stuff on in the middle of the lingerie department at Macy’s, it is totally not me.
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Actually, I Prefer the More Exotic Flavors of Australian Food. Like from Outback Steakhouse
Nov. 26, 2009
Submitted by: dunno source via Submission Page
We don’t have Cracker Barrel restaurants in my region, and judging by this tattoo, that information should make me very, very sad. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single restaurant in this state where you can order a plate of mashed potatoes, scrapple, and a single leaf of lettuce.
You don’t have to tell me how brave I am to face every day in my Cracker-Barrelless world. I know. Trust me, I know.
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I Have a Separate Prayer for Surviving Black Friday Sales
Nov. 25, 2009
Ink Spotter: Yiorgos
Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. of A., which means that in the hours between my waking and approximately 2:00 p.m. I have to somehow turn out a sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, sourdough stuffing, a few dozen dinner rolls, and a pecan pie. Lettuce lay our hands upon this tattoo and pray to the lord (Martha Stewart) that I can get it all done:
Our Martha, who art in heaven,
Excellent be thy Name.
Thy dinner bun.
Thy pie be done,
On earth as it is nearly seven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our judgment lapses,
As we were drinking a lot of wine when we made this stuffing.
I’m not sure where the temptation,
To put dried apricots in it came from,
That is just evil.
[For thine is the kingdom,
and the Packers will beat the Lions and have all the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.]
Amen.
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If This Tat Could Talk
BUTT on BUTTCEPTION Natasha on I Fail the Line tyberius on Even Your Tattoo Is Sad About … Seven on Recipe for Awesome Shark on Even Your Tattoo Is Sad About … chrisuscfan on Recipe for Awesome Ren on Tramp Stamp Up tonique on Recipe for Awesome bug man on Recipe for Awesome Jed Dye on Tramp Stamp Up
