Submitted By: Marge
Twilight is a good argument for upping the minimum age required to get a tattoo. I haven’t seen it, but apparently there’s something about this unwashed chupacabra that sets hearts aflutter and brains a-stupid even outside the preteen set. So I’ve decided to keep my distance, lest I wake up from deprogramming to find myself with an unfortunate decision etched into my skin. My parents still haven’t forgiven me for that Rainbow Brite tattoo I got in first grade.
If you think the above is bad, well, it’s because you haven’t seen this:
Submitted By: Amy B
Oh no.
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Copy & paste this:
I made a complete fool of myself over LOTR and Star Trek in my youth. Thank GOD tattoos weren’t in fashion then; I outgrew both within 10 years (though I still love them, I think I would hate having a tattoo of either now).
wow. the apple one is bad, but to have a huge ode to an unwashed douche on yer arm, magic, pure magic. And does it say “You are my life mate”? creepy.
BTW, best. line. ever. “…apparently there’s something about this unwashed chupacabra that sets hearts aflutter and brains a-stupid…”
Now THAT is tattoo worthy
After being begged to and cajoled into it, I read all of the books. They were neither as good as touted, nor as bad as you would suspect. They were just okay. Better than the books that you would find listed on my husband’s bad quote site (click my link!), but definitely teeny-bopper style “romance”. That said, these people are out of their fucking minds. The first one is stupid but not hideous in its very creation. The second one is god-awful fugly and doesn’t even fit the book OR movie (as hideous as that was!).
@MODOG
I *think* it says “you are my life now” which is a line from the book. And not even a particularly memorable or good one. It was his way of NOT saying “I love you” basically.
It looks like Pattison’s googly-eyed cousin.
Holy moley, I just took a closer look at that second one. It IS supposed to be Pattinson! Whaddya know about that?
I’d rather get a tattoo of the unwashed chupacabra than anything Twilight related.
Chupacabras, for what it’s worth, are actually somewhat popular flash-art items here in New York City, especially among the Puerto Rican population.
Twilight? Not so much. (Thank God…)
Oh for the love of god. From ask-a-urinal: “What do you get when you cross a douche bag with a disco-ball?”
Having volunteered countless hours at the seniors’ center, I always wonder about how people will feel about their tattoo(s) when they’re, say, 84 years old. There’s lots of ink to be seen at such a place (mostly on forearms of men, of course, considering the generation) and most of it has blurred and smeared over time into one big inky blob. I’m curious how modern-day tattooing techniques will hold up over time.
In the case of the above pics, though, I’m wondering how they’re gonna feel when they’re say, 34 years old! Or even 24 and having to explain their total lack of sense to their college roommates! LOL. Such poor, poor decision making.
Is that extreme teasing and subsequent laser removal I see on the horizon?
@Chelle
Given the obsession with the series that some middle aged women have, this person could be in her 40s for all I know. Which is quite scary in and of itself. There ARE timeless tattoos, but you won’t find them on these pages.
I love that these silly little fangirls think that this is passable fiction. I also love that they are willing to brand their idiocy on their bodies so that we know who they are and can steer clear.
I like Twilight, but these are badly done. And I’d never get a tattoo of it on me. I’d want something a little more normal (and smaller). Like a heart or a star or something.
@Jennifer
Oh god. I haven’t even considered the middle aged women! Eek.
And you’re right, of course — there are timeless tattoos. Maybe we should start a new URL?
@Chelle
I’d have to say that it won’t get the readership that something like this will, because people CAN find good tattoos out there. Maybe not in one place, but they’re on the artist’s website. Not to mention that when we HAVE timeless tattoos (I think mine are lol), we don’t necessarily want the idiot masses to steal the ideas from us.
Also, I work on 3 blogs as it is; I can’t imagine throwing another into the mix. The one my husband and I work on (the link in my first two comments) is very, very funny.
I love the need to write “Twilight” below the apple, as if god forbid it should just be mistaken for a regular apple. Heaven help her when she grows up and recognizes what a truly awful piece of self-insertion fan wank the books really are.
And this is coming from someone with a Stephen King based tattoo (though you’d just think it was a pretty design unless you’re as obsessed as I am, no need to caption for clarity here).
Yeah, I mean, if they want a tattoo to remind them of the books, why not get something a bit more, well, abstract? Like, just the book or flower or a moon or something, why do they have to shove it? This actually personally offends my eyes, it is that crap. It actually angers me to look at either of these, I mean, Jesus!
* when I said book the second time I meant apple, ie: the emblems on the covers of the books, rather than the damn title.
GOOD. GOD. This is BY FAR the best argument for upping the age I’ve EVER heard. But you’re right, you can’t do anything to stop enthralled middle-aged women. If it is a young 20-something, I cannot wait until Grammy (or Grandpa O_O) has to explain to their 5 year old granddaughter who that filthy, malnourished, wingless Mothman is on their arm. And if the child happens to be old enough to know past pop culture, they could very well think that terrible tattoo is of Pete Wentz.
@Jennifer
Having been asked that by my mother many times, I feel that when I’m 85, sagging all over, covered in liver spots, teeth falling out, etc.. I will be *delighted* if anyone still wants to look at what’s left of my tattoos.
Ugh. Those are by far the UGLIEST tattoos I have ever seen. I would rather die than have an image of a sparkly zombie on my body.
@Erica
I kinda think that way, too. My husband hates tattoos in general, and isn’t fond of mine — but he acknowledges that mine are very nice. I would like to think that *I* would want to see them then, too.
I’ve been told that they can transfer and trace images at tattoo parlors, so why is so much of the lettering on tattoos so shitty? The apple’s not so great either, but the guy with the kwepie doll on his arm must be nuts.
I admit that I wasted money on the books, when I could have just borrowed them from a library. I watched the movie, and am waiting for the next one. BUT, I would never get a tattoo of a fictional character, or any in fact. I hate needles.
Also, Edwards hair is suppose to be blazing copper or bronze or something like they say in the book. This is just brown, doesn’t really look like him. And his eyes are a bit weird.
Why does the apple in the tattoo have a stem?? The book apple doesn’t.
Imagine getting naked with someone the first time and that’s what is staring up at you.
Kills the mood a little.
Loooool imagine them in 15 years they’ll be like : wtf is twilight?! Then they’ll search for it on google and will say: aw crap why the fuck did I got tattooed this piece of shit
I bought the first two for my daughter for summer reading. At least she’s reading…right? right? :-/
@Lady Ice
Depending on how old your daughter is, sure. As I said, the books aren’t nearly as bad as they’re made out to be. I’m not ashamed to have read them (I read trashy romance novels, and I’m not ashamed of that). But I am not jumping up and down calling them the greatest things since fudge sundaes, either. I’d say they’re probably a slightly above average read for a teeny-bopper level closed-door romance novel.
If it were accepted that this is a series for young adults, most of us wouldn’t have even heard of the damned things. I got stuck with young girls (and several grown women!) begging and cajoling me to read them, so I gave in. I read each in 1 day or so. They’re quick and basic. About the best I can say is that I do not fervently wish I *hadn’t* read them, which is high praise considering *some* of the books I’ve read. But without so many people trying to jam the idea that these are great down my throat, I’m sure I could have enjoyed them more for what they are. Except for the glittering in the sun thing — that I will never forgive.
Is it me? Or does that guy look more like Breckin Meyer than Robert Pattinson?
The wrist one is stupid, but still vaguely cute. That upper-arm monstrosity is a crime against humanity.
@Malisyn
I had to look the guy up, but no, you are right. Looks much more like Breckin Meyer than Pattinson.
I’ve read the books and am a big fan – but not enough to ink the name on my body…
that tat is bangin! looks liek a hardcore vamp fan
Darnit. I hate the censorship here.
at first i thought the 2nd tat might be elongated to better fit the fangirl’s arm.
that was until i loaded up photoshop and resized it until the sparkly douche was a bit more in proportion, then i realised i was looking at a lunchlady arm of epic scale. in the end what else did expect though.
The books were like the demented spawn of ‘Sweet Valley High’ crossed with ‘Interview With a Vampire’. I watched the movie drunk, which made it slightly more enjoyable, but still horrid. Pattison’s face was fish belly white, with normal colored neck. It was reminiscent of Marcel Marceau, but with less talent. Pattison was in Harry Potter as well, and was infinitely hotter. As much as I geek out over Potter, I’m not about to get a lightning-bolt scar tattooed on my head – although if anyone has one, I’d love to see it posted.
@Myrdda
Myrdda,
The movie was disgustingly, horribly bad. ugh. made me nauseated to watch it. Darned husband.
@Myrdda
Yup, found one in under 5 minutes.
http://news.bmezine.com/2006/12/21/harry-potter-scar/
Let’s see how long this one lasts. whenever i post a link it gets deleted.
Anyway… the bolt is in the wrong place, and it’s a cut, not a tattoo, i think it says — which makes it much worse. i guess she wants it to really scar. *shrug*
Dear god, what will that second one be covered up with?
Sheep – that’s so nasty. Thanks for the link!
People PAY for scars? Wow… things have changed since I was 14 (not that long ago). My friends and I carved more complex things than this on ourselves (well, like Black Flag emblems), and it was free!
A Black Flag emblem is a hell of a lot cooler than a poorly placed lightening bolt from (albeit good) young adult fiction.
Why would somebody do that to themselves? The second one is gunna be broke in a few years from paying to get it removed.
If I were to get a tattoo, I’d get something tasteful that I wouldn’t regret like a butterfly on my lower back or angel wings on my shoulder blades. It’s just stupid to get a tattoo themed after a book, movie, or TV show! You’ll just regret it later in life.
Hahahaha! Right. No one regrets a tramp stamp or a rip-off on Nicole Ritchie. All those people love their butterflies and angel wings. How is being just like everyone else romantic? Hopeless seems to fit, though.
Does anyone else think that the tattoo of Pattinson looks like the idiotic Goku from the movie Dragonball Evolution?
I get the apple – and that could even be passed off as something else later down the line when Twilight obsession dies away…but tattooing the book series title might have been a step too far. Luckily she (assuming it’s a chick) could still have that portion covered up at a later date.
The Unwashed Chupacabra? He will never wash away.
Jennifer,
My daughter is 11, almost 12, so she fits right in the “teeny bopper” age group. She’s a good reader, above grade level, all that crap, but generally doesn’t enjoy reading. This at least has her attention and she’s enjoying it. I might read it when she’s done, since we own the books. I’m just a huge Anne Rice fan and everyone I’ve talked to that is vaguely literate has said that Stephanie Whatsherbutt just sucks donkey nuts in comparison to Rice and Stephen King…and King said so himself. heh heh.
They couldnt just dump glitter on themselves till they grew out of it?
Yeah, or give up eating at the cafeteria with everyone else and chase elk instead? Isn’t this a bit extreme? It’s absolutely ridiculous. As if the books weren’t over-done and emo enough.
Couple things…
I’ve never liked Anne Rice. So, personally, since they’re not all psuedo-homosexual somewhat pedophilic vampires, I can like them more. lol Except for the glittering in the sun, which, as I said, I cannot forgive. And no, she’s no f’n where near King… but she never tries to be.
As for suitablilty… I won’t tell you how to raise your kid (promise!), but for her age, if I were you, I would read them first. The whole 2nd book is basically nothing but Bella doing the most idiotic things she can think of, and wanting to kill herself, because the boy she loooouuurves leaves her. Then, when she almost dies because of that stupidity, Edward spends an inordinate amount of time trying to kill himself. The whole time I was reading it, I kept thinking that it was a terrible example to set for very young girls. Even if you decide not to read it, maybe you could TALK to her about how stupid it is to try to die over someone you date when you’re 17, you know?
Anyway, if she’s into vamps, Katie Maxwell wrote a couple of books (Got Fangs? being one of them, but I can’t remember the others) that are VERY age appropriate and cute too. She’s also got some other young adult books that are non-paranormal. All closed-door or only kissing. Harmless and VERY funny. She writes ADULT romance novels as Katie MacAlister, but they are waaaaay too graphic for a 12 year old.
When I was her age I was reading King myself, but I also had parents who didn’t really care what the hell I was reading — or anything else I was doing for that matter.
So what’s wrong with Maggie Shayne? As for Twilight… It was an okay book. the whole sparkly vamps thing (shudders) just wasn’t my speed and the plotline was completely ‘tarded. But it was well written, to Stephanie Meyer’s credit.
Twilight should be a favorite of the emo kids, however. Just sayin…
I know people who got fan tattoos for a series of vamp romances. However, a small bow & arrow on the shoulder is a heck of a lot more discreet than an apple or a full portrait. The latter is one that I would want as a fake one for a month, just to see if I really like it.
Nice Dark-Hunter reference there Sewicked.
[...] have been getting more plentiful and interesting of late, with Anne Rice for traditionalists, Twilight for tweenies and a fair range between the two. I read a lot of the genre after finishing my [...]
I saw the last one and nearly screamed.
Jesus christ…shall her karma get her back for that one.
As if I wouldn’t assume they were morons for liking that Twilight crap in the first place, but they have to make sure they’re the biggest morons in the bunch by tattooing it on themselves…. its like a target so everyone can see they need to be taken out of the gene pool….
Hell, I don’t even care about th stupid series, if people want to get a t-shirt or even those stupid “Team Edward” badges then fine. I have a best friend who loves the series and I’ve promised to see all the films with her, but a tattoo? It’s the most ridiculously retarded and fucked up thing I’ve ever heard of. Ever. EVER. I cannot stress how much I personally hate this.
pretty sad….plus it looks like a Corky version of Edward
(yes Corky from that 80s family show “Oh blah de Oh blah da” ya i said it and i sang it! what!)
OH!! LOOK THE HOBBIT!
what strikes me is that in the second tattoo, the guy in it is MUCH more good looking than Edward. That’s saying a lot.
DIE! DIEEEEEE!
Argh, seriously, this has got to be my biggest tat hate of all time, all Twilight tattooees are absolute fucking morons, and if you’re reading this and you have got Robert Pattinson engraved on your ass and you’re offended, well then you’re a fucking moron too, and what’s worse is that at some level you’ve got to know it.
Sadly, the second one looks BETTER than the real Robert Pattinson! Only “teen heartthrob” who looks better in a fucked up tattoo.
What’s sad is that the tattoo of Edward is better looking than Robert Pattinson.
is it just me or does he kinda look like pete wentz?
Does anyone else think the bottom guy looks more like Pete Wentz than Robert Pattinson?
Isn’t that background looks like this one’s?
http://www.google.hu/imgres?imgurl=http://metalartwork.free.fr/images/pochettes2/tailleoriginale2/big1/Dimmu_Borgir_-_Godless_Savage_Garden.jpg&imgrefurl=http://metalartwork.free.fr/html/D.htm&usg=__TUW1nVKa6sNUXYi43NyQj-DCUZc=&h=703&w=704&sz=135&hl=hu&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=2RtuRUFFGBrvAM:&tbnh=145&tbnw=143&ei=TWXnTbGFKIKr8APTpayKCg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dgodless%2Bsavage%2Bgarden%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dhu%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:hu:official%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D920%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=282&vpy=76&dur=757&hovh=224&hovw=225&tx=154&ty=131&page=1&ndsp=33&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&biw=1280&bih=920